tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7774038240425612964.post5716124224216921121..comments2023-05-03T05:42:25.845-07:00Comments on Birthmothers For Adoption: Inevitable Regret?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7774038240425612964.post-90259511596031062322011-07-05T16:25:11.648-07:002011-07-05T16:25:11.648-07:00I love this post......you captured a lot of my tho...I love this post......you captured a lot of my thoughts as well!A Life Being Livedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11702473000464603292noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7774038240425612964.post-45190010973885506862011-06-28T22:04:35.602-07:002011-06-28T22:04:35.602-07:00Jessa, you have a beautiful gift and intellect for...Jessa, you have a beautiful gift and intellect for words!Emily and Dan Adopthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13586998846090844131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7774038240425612964.post-57969699155239319532011-06-27T16:09:13.759-07:002011-06-27T16:09:13.759-07:00From Shelley!
My birthson is now 7. I have NEVER...From Shelley! <br /><br />My birthson is now 7. I have NEVER regretted my decision. However I have had the "I want my baby in MY arms and in my day to day life" thoughts. In that first month of what was intense pain and grief, felt like I couldn't catch my breath grief, I had fleeting thoughts of "picking up my baby". Here in Canada, I was able to take him back no questions asked until he was a month old. It crossed my mind, fleetingly.<br /><br />As you say, I reminded myself of my list of why I chose adoption and all I wanted for my beautiful son and was not able to provide him. I reminded myself of all my elder child missed out on not having an involved daddy (you know, the kind who never lived up to visitation). I reminded myself that I wanted better for my baby. I remind myself of the numerous reasons I made the decision I did. <br /><br />I had the advantage of knowing what the future may hold as I had lived it once with my older son. I know all he missed out on and how he still hurts for the things he missed out on (he was 15 when his brother was placed for adoption). <br /><br />As the years have passed and I experienced the grief of an empty nest, when my son moved out to go to college (he's now 22 and first left home almost 4 yrs ago), I again fleetingly thought, "if I had not placed my second child, I would still be a day to day mom with a purpose." I struggled with wondering what my purpose was now that my elder son was moved out...even though I worked, I had been a mom, caring for my son every day since I was 18 yrs old myself. What do with myself now? I missed my younger son more intensely again. <br /><br />I had to remind myself that I didn't choose adoption for me. I chose it for my son and he had everything I wanted him to have that he would not have if I parented him. It was about him and he was a happy and healthy child with so many opportunities and a very different life than he would have with me. The fleeting, "if I had my younger son..." thoughts were indeed fleeting as I reminded myself of the reasons I made my choice. I have an open adoption and could see that my son was indeed much better off where he was with the family he had. As difficult as that may be to admit, I could not deny it was true. <br /><br />I could not be happier for my younger son that he has an amazing dad, siblings to grow up with, extended family who love him and show him that regularly...all things he would not have had in my home and family. He has also experienced many opportunities he would never have if he didn't have the parents he does. I am so happy for him that he has those opportunities and will continue to have opportunities that will make a positive impact on his life, that he would not have otherwise had. There can be no regret in all of this.Jessalynn Speighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02755974519647990950noreply@blogger.com