I
genuinely LOVE my children’s birthmoms….
I have
been blessed by adoption 3 wonderful times.
Each adoption is as unique as their
birthmoms.
Let me
tell you why I love my oldest son’s birthmom Ashlee. My son James aka
Ashton-James or his nickname BAJA is named after his birthmom. When I first met
Ashlee she was a junior in high school. I was so impressed that she maintained
her high GPA of 3.9 even though she was pregnant and working nearly full time.
She has determination; a trait that I now see in my little BAJA. She is
my hero. I have loved her from the moment she wrote us a beautiful letter of
why she was placing with us. My love grew deeper when she kissed him on the
forehead and then placed him in my arms. I love that BAJA seemed to look at
Ashlee as if to say thank you…and then he looked to me. His past and his future
in one look.
Ashlee
and I describe our relationship as an EXTREME open adoption. We went to her
high school graduation. We met her boyfriends, we shared birthdays together,
BAJA was the ring bearer at her wedding, we give presentations to high school
students, and she invited me and Brian as some of the first people to meet her
little girl (born Dec 2011). I love watching her be a mom. I’m so grateful that
she calls me to share in her little girl’s “firsts” and to share stories.
I love
that I have seen Ashlee grow to a beautiful competent woman. She is smart,
dedicated, gorgeous, a little stubborn, creative, and so caring. She managed a
retail store and after completing school she now works in a medical office.
Ashlee is so supportive of me and our little family. She is always quick to
offer her support and love. When we adopted Baby Jonathan last year,
Ashlee tended BAJA and Christian for me so I could visit Jonathan in the
hospital.
There
doesn’t seem to be a word that describes my love for Ashlee sister & friend
doesn’t seem to express my feelings. My beautiful moment of Ashlee is just a
few weeks ago we attended an event where I was getting an award for
Motherhood. I couldn’t receive this award without Ashlee. I surprised her
by having the announcer invite her to receive the award with me.
When
BAJA was 4 ½ years old we found our second child Christian. I found his
birthmom Katie on the internet one night. Katie and her husband John are
parenting 3 children, placed a little boy in a nearby city, and now were
placing this little boy. Katie and John wanted a family willing to be
open to a relationship with his biological sibling. No problem for us. We
welcomed this idea with open arms. Katie and John live in another state so our
relationship is one of text messages, packages, and lengthy phone calls.
Katie is strong and tough!! I love Katie’s strong, independence. Traits I see
in Christian. Katie doesn’t let anyone tell her she can’t do something. Once
she makes up her mind there is no going back. She is a hard worker. She tackles
a problem. She is smart and subjects like math come easy for her. We were able
to visit John & Katie early in her pregnancy and spend time with their
family. She wanted to make sure we felt comfortable. She has a wonderful laugh.
A deep belly laugh. She sees the good in a situation no matter how difficult.
She often says “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”.
What I love most
about Katie is her generous spirit. She offered so much to us even though she
had little. Her generosity continued to amaze me when she was always the first
to offer regarding the adoption plan. “You are going to be there for the birth,
you are going to hold him first, you are going to stay in my room!”
I love
Katie for her friendship and as she describes it “sisterhood”
Jonathan’s
birthmom Vanessa has had a difficult life. I love her for her courage despite
the rough journey she has had. Vanessa is quiet and graceful. She has a soft
giggle and I love that Jonathan has her giggle. She has slate colored eyes
kinda blue kinda brown kinda green and Jonathan has her eyes. She loved
nature including birds, trees, and the simple things in life. Since her life
was complicated it’s interesting that she loved the simple aspects of
life. I love that from the moment Vanessa saw the picture of us she
wanted him to go to our family. Despite everyone telling her otherwise, she
placed him with us. She was so gracious in letting me go to all her doctor
visits. She continually told me that Jonathan was meant for our family. I love
her for her determination and I see this quality in Jonathan too.
Vanessa
had the courage to leave her stressful situation. She is in another state now
and unfortunately I no longer have contact with her. This leaves a large hole
in my heart. I think of her everyday I look into Jonathan’s eyes and I hope she
has found peace in her new life. I send letters and pictures to her grandmother
and I hope that these updates are opened and the messages are passed to her. I
long for Vanessa to know how much we love and care for her!!
I am so
blessed to have such beautiful women in our lives!
No comments:
Post a Comment