Thursday, June 25, 2009

to pregnant girls with an adoption plan

I wrote this on January 17, 2009 to post on the discussion boards of various birthmom support groups on facebook - there are tons by the way... including the group I manage (desha wood's adoption friends and family) thought i'd share it here too!! this is in response to many comments of fear from soon to be birthmoms as placement day "looms" ahead. ~desha

- while pregnant, I hear of so many of us looking to the day of delivery and placement as the END of our journey with our babies, that our time with them is drawing to a close.

THIS IS NOT TRUE, for it is only the beginning.... the beginning of this new life we have chosen to bring into the world by not getting abortions, the beginning of the new family that WE alone created for these adoptive couples, the beginning of our purpose and destiny of being a birthmother!!

Try to remember that this is not about you (the birthmom) this is about him/her (the baby). This decision was made with his/her best interest in mind, not your best interest. We decided to place our babies for adoption because that's what WE wanted for our babies, to give them something we could not provide on our own.

Placement day is not -something to dread
                                      -something to be scared of
                                      -something to look towards with fear and pain and sorrow and grief

it is something WONDERFUL and amazing and precious and extremely exciting and very VERY sacred in the eyes of your creator.

Don't be sad, don't be scared..... BE HAPPY, this is an amazing gift- to ourselves, to the forever families and most of all to our babies. Keep your attitude positive and your adoption experience will be positive, keep your attitude in the gutter and you will indeed have a bad/sad/full of pain and sorrowful adoption experience. I'm not denying that giving birth and then placing my birthson into the arms of his parents wasn't a truly bittersweet experience, but there was never ANY room for me to be sad or grieve an experience that was SO RIGHT and so full of peace and so ultimately divinely planned and perfect.
june 2008

By choosing to be sad I would have ruined that experience for everyone involved, including my birthson. I'm better than that and so are all of you! We are strong women by nature or we would have decided to keep our babies out of selfish fear. Of course we can "do this" or God wouldn't have trusted us to be a birthmother in the first place.

BE HAPPY that you GET to be a birthmom! BE EXCITED for the wonderful things that are soon to come about!!

I placed on July 22, 2008. ***** will be 6 months old on January 20, 2009. He is very happy, very healthy, and so very loved.... as am I.
adoption luvs


StefanieJinelle said...

I'm pregnant right now and placing my girl up for adoption. I sort of just anticipate the day of placement. Because there are days that I will grieve about it but other days I know that I will be filled with love and happiness.

I have a present for you on my blog :)

birthMOM said...

stefaniejinelle - update us. have you had the baby?

it is definitely a journey, with ups and downs, but not one i would change or trade or take back for anything. adoption and being a birthmother is amazing! i consider it my crowning achievement! i am truly blessed for this experience.

Unknown said...

Thank you for sharing! Birth-parents are the strongest people I know... and the one's who need to hear that the most :-)I pray that our children's birth-parents will find the same inner strength and hope that you have... and that we might be one's who pour that into them. They truly are our heros!


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