"everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes" - REM

this is a great article written specifically from the birth mothers perspective about the 5 stages of grief

Birthparent Grief

One of the first steps in dealing with any loss is in knowing how grief may manifest itself. While I will be discussing various phases of the grieving process, it is important to remember that everyone goes through it in their own way, and in their own time. Your emotions may run the gamut, from sadness, to anger, guilt, relief and anxiety, all in one day! There is no set timetable for processing your loss.

Remember that grieving is often a process of two steps forward, one step back. There will be days that are better than others, and also days where it takes all that you have just to cope. Be patient with yourself. Talk to others who love and support you when you need to and take time alone when you have to. Give yourself permission to not be 100% at all times.

© 1995 Brenda Romanchik

and always remember what Larry Barretto said:

Babies are bits of stardust blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth for she has held a star.