Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Music Stills The Soul

Have you ever heard how music can "calm your soul" or help to fix a broken heart (as well do the opposite for you depending on the type of music). I have always believed this and so when I placed my little boy for adoption I gave his parents a cd with songs that would always remind me of him. I recently bought an iPod for him and plan to put those songs and some additional songs on it as well for him.

There are times when emotions get to strong, hard to handle, and difficult for you to talk to anyone about (especially if they don't understand the situation or what you have been through). There are times I really just need a good cry to deal with missing Mr. B. I am still living in the community I was when I made the choice to place him for adoption but I didn't have much support from my community so beside my husband and mom, I really don't talk to many people about my choice. My husband even has guys at his work make comments to him about how I was before I placed Mr. B and how he's lucky I didn't "get rid of" his daughter's. I know this upsets my husband, so I try not to show too strong of feelings about their comments, but I normally get overwhelmed by my emotions.

At times like this I go for a drive and put on my copy of the cd I made for Mr. B or take my iPod and go for a run and listen to a playlist I have made to help me think about him in a more healthy way.

Here is a list of songs that I have on the cd and my playlist (some of these have a more personal meaning so I'll explain by them if they don't seem to directly pertain to adoption):

1. To Whom It May Concern - Creed (this song made me think about Mr. B after I placed him because it talks about how time keeps moving even when you're not ready for it to)
2. I Just Close My Eyes - Mark Wills
3. Home to Stay - Josh Groban
4. February Song - Josh Groban (Mr. B's birthday is in February)
5. When You Love Someone - Bryan Adams
6. There You'll Be - Faith Hill
7. The Dance - Garth Brooks
8. Tonight I Wanna Cry - Keith Urban
9. When I Close My Eyes - Kenny Chesney
10. I Can Still Feel You - Collin Raye
11. One More Day - Lonestar
12. What Hurts the Most - Mark Wills (or Rascal Flatts, I personally like the Mark Wills version better)
13. If I Never Knew You - Jon Secada/Shanice (from Pocahontas)
14. How to Save a Life - The Fray
15. Leave Out All the Rest - Linkin Park
16. Baby Mine - Alison Krauss (from Dumbo)
17. The Prayer - Josh Groban
18. Starts with Goodbye - Carrie Underwood
19. Lullabye - Jordan Bluth
20. River Lullaby - from the Prince of Egypt
21. I Give You to His Heart - Alison Krauss
22. Your Guardian Angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (this was the song I was listening to when I got the first impression I might be pregnant with Mr. B)

I love these songs because they bring me back to holding Mr. B and to all the times I've seen him. I actually have nearly 100 songs on my playlist for him. I also hav a playlist for both of my daughters for my drive to and from nursing school this fall. I've also made a playlist for my husband and one for my dad (who passed away in '94).

What are some songs you do have or would have to listen to when your having a hard day? Do you have any songs that are special for a particular reason? Like the song "So Close" is my husband's favorite song to dance with me. I know he's going to be romantic (which is rare for him) when he turns that song on.

Share your feelings about the benefit of music and any songs you think work with your adoption situation or any other special situation in your life.


1 comment:

Red Hot said...

I love music. I will have to listen to those songs when I get home from work. :) The song that I listened to when I was pregnant was two worlds collide by demi lovato. I felt the first verse/first chorus was between me and the birth father. the second verse was me trying to figure out if i can do it by myself and the last line "but you've given me strength to find hope" was finally deciding to place. The second chorus being between me and the adoptive family. Then the bridge is placement.

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