Monday, September 26, 2011

Guest Blogger: Jacki--For Timothy

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I met Jacki (unfortunately not IRL..yet?? lol) through one of my favorite sites in the whole world. which she runs...Mamas On A Dime it really is awesomesauce and i get tons of free stuff! Well one day I won a prize and in the email she sent me she asked me if she could guest blog!! Here is her entry. It reminded me a lot of this book:

For Timothy

                “Tell me again. “ The little boy whispered.
                “Again?” His mother asked, wondering how he never tired of this story. He snuggled deeper into his blankets and looked up expectantly. “Once upon a time, “ she started. “There was a very beautiful and talented young woman. She was a good person and she loved her family very much. But as she got older she made a few mistakes. And she soon found that she was pregnant.”
                “That means she had a baby in her tummy, right?” The little boy asked, knowing the answer.
                “Right.” Said his mother. “She had a baby in her tummy. But she wasn’t married to the baby’s father. And she was still in high school so she didn’t know what to do. She told her family and they were all very nice to her. Her mom took her to the doctor and to a lady who could her decide what to do with the baby.”
                “She’s called a counts-all-her, isn’t she?”
                “A counselor, yes. Well, the counselor helped the young woman decided to let someone else raise her baby. That’s called adoption. So she looked at pictures and read letters until she found the family she thought should raise her baby.”
                “That was you and daddy.” The little boy said matter of factly.
                “Yes.” His mother answered as tears fell down her cheeks. “And that’s why you’re my little boy.” She stopped, ready to go to bed; as this was where the story usually ended. But the little boy had more to say tonight.
                “Are you happy I’m your little boy?”
                “Extremely happy.” She answered, surprised.
                “Then why are you crying?”
                She paused for a moment wondering how much he could understand. “There are a lot of reasons I’m crying. One is because I’m so happy you’re my little boy. I’m happy that I get to kiss you goodnight. And hold you when you cry. I’m happy I get to see your smiling face every day and to hear your wonderful laughter. But I’m also sad. Because your real mommy doesn’t get to do or hear all those things. Because I know she loves you just as much as I do.”
                “Mommy,” he said very quietly. She knew by the look on his face something was troubling him. She also knew this would be a new question, one she hadn’t answered before. “Didn’t she want me?” He whispered. “Didn’t my real mommy want to keep me with her?”
                His mother tried to breathe as the tears cascaded down her cheeks. “Oh baby,” She whispered and pulled him into her arms. “She wanted you so much. She wanted to hold you every day just like I’m holding you now. But she loved you too much. She didn’t think she would be a good enough mother for you. Not then. She was too young. She wanted you to have more. So she gave you to me and daddy. Because she wanted you to be happy. And she wasn’t sure if she could make you happy. But most of all,” she hugged him tighter. “She loved you way more than she loved herself.”
                She laid the little boy back on his bed and kissed his forehead. “I love you.” She said
                “I love you, too.” He told her. “And I love my real mommy too. Because she loved me so much she gave me to you.”
                His mother wiped at her tears, turned off the light, and shut the door.
                Somewhere, far away, a young woman lay in her bed thinking of her son. And suddenly an overwhelming feeling of love came upon her. And, again, she knew that she had made the right decision when she gave her son up for adoption.


jodilee0123 said...

Um, so that didn't make me cry....well, maybe, a little more than a tear or two. Beautiful post!

Laurie Meredith said...

I like everything about this post except the phrase "real mommy". I don't think there is an adoptive mother out there who refers to a birth mother as "real mommy" because it makes it sound like the adoptive mother isn't a real mother. Most of us are bothered when others use the phrase "real mother" in reference to the birth mother. We are both "real" mothers.

Katelyn Krum Shaw said...

I 100% agree with Laurie. I don't for one second believe that I'm Ally's "real mommy" but if anyone where to ever question if I'm Cayden's "real mommy"... well it wouldn't be pretty.

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