Sunday, November 20, 2011

Happy Sunday--no this will not be a post of Unicorns

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Instead you get an explanation of why there was no post yesterday!

birthMOM was busy because she was getting ready to come to UTAH..which means....what?? it means i get to see her...we only get to see each other like twice a year in real life so it is always a treat! we will be having a little birthmom party the day before thanksgiving so keep an eye out for those deets on our facebook page 

I was busy dealing with some health issues (man alive do i love pregnancy lol) and I was hanging out with a very cute little girl and her family...
I couldn't really hold her because she is getting way too big way too fast!!!

Some highlights of this visit were many.

1. When she saw Wes and I walk up to she ran to me and screamed Jessa...this was not a very nice thing to do to a hormonal pregnant lady because its a lot harder to not cry about silly things like that. 

2. I found out that Josie enjoys chewing on ice. which to me was insane because I am an avid chewer of ice (i know i know its not very good for your teeth or whatever ...don't care) My mom is also an ice chewer...i guess its one of those weird habits that twins who are separated at birth and reunified have in common or something. lol. 

3. Josie turned to me during lunch and asked, "Jessa, where is Jr?" It took me a minute to realize what she had asked because :
     a. i had never heard her say that before
     b. she is 3 and well, lets face it, three year olds aren't exactly known for their diction skills. 
I couldn't help but smile. I am so happy she even knows about her birthfather. As sad as it is...a lot of acouples don't really go over the whole birthfather thing because they are usually not as involved. I am thankful to be able to say that she is learning about him. It made me very happy...although he may not have been a fantastic individual in the past...he is a good person who helped bring her into this world. She deserves to know where she got her beautiful skin and gorgeous curly hair. okay i will stop on that tangent again.

4. Josie was trying to get me to look at a sign and she goes...Hey, Hey birthmother...look at that car.
I was trying so hard not to LOL. i don't feel like this was a super significant moment in our meeting...i just thought it was funny because usually she just calls me Jessa. haha.

5. the last moment I am going to share with you was when we were talking about the baby in my tummy. we talked about it several times. and i loved it. 

j-i was a baby in your tummy first.
J-yes you were. you were a big fat baby. 

I loved this. with the new baby coming. Wes and I have talked quite a bit lately about how the relationship with Josie and our baby will be. Honestly...i feel like its going to be like our relationship now. Its going to be going to hang out with our friends...just we have one more member of our family and they have one more friend. When Josie gets older i am not sure how its going to play out. like i have said before...if she ever doesn't want an open adoption with me that is her choice. She is allowed to make that choice, just as my children will have the choice when they are older if they want to join in on visits. It is just like my parents i feel like. 

My parents were thrown into the situation of open adoption. but they both have a choice of how they want to handle it... My mom chooses to look at pictures of her but not to really have contact in person. My dad chooses to look at pictures of her and see her when he can. 

Does it make me sad my mom chooses not to really participate in seeing her? Yes of course it does. But i understand where she is coming from, that is just her personality. But i know it is her choice. 

My children, my husband, Josie, my family; they all have that choice on whether or not they want to be a part of it. The only people i have to (i say have to because for my own sake) stay in contact with is her parents. So i can know she is happy... as long as i can at least always get a letter telling me Josie is okay i would be able to live with the fact that contact may be to tough for her at some point in her life. 

this post turned out to be much longer than I intended and I am sorry for that..I am sure it made very little sense as my brain is jumbled right now. 

I love you all! Happy Sunday! 


Rachel said...

I love your blog and think you are amazingly strong. You are doing great things for the adoption world! I hope and pray that someday, when we are matched with a birth mother, that she will be like you and that we can have a happy, open adoption just like you have. Josie is beautiful! I am so happy that the two of you continue to have one another as part of your lives!

Alli said...

So glad you got to see her! I love when Samantha says things like "you're my birthmom!" to me. It makes my week!

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