Monday, March 19, 2012

Managing Open Adoption After Baby

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Having a baby is no joke. They take a lot of time, people aren't kidding around when they say that.

My baby girl wants to be held and talked to 75 percent of the day. Now that she is getting older i can put her down a little more. Anyways, i am busy. REALLY busy. Between blogging, starting a new company, working, cleaning, and school....i am stretched pretty thin lately.

Because of my life being so busy...lets just say that i have kinda neglected the adoption part of my life. I have not devoted nearly as much time as i want to the adoption things i love. Blogging, Retreat, talking with Josie and her fam.

i know everyone is always telling me to take breaks and I have been...TRUST ME. this is the most break i have ever taken. and it has killed me.

I miss talking to Josie's mom more...we she has sent me text messages and sporadic facebook messages and i have given quick responses. but I miss it. i miss knowing better what is going on in their lives. they mean soooo much to me. they are part of my family.

So for those of you who are at this point or have been at this point...how do you manage open adoption with your family.

I am going to visit josie and fam next month with my friend Tiffany and that will help me feel better about the situation. but i need tips.

How do you manage your time? Keep up with updates? Stay apart of their lives?


Katelyn Krum Shaw said...

well for me it gave me a better understanding of what Lori and Barton did for me after placement. They kept me part of their life even with having a new born. I gained a whole new respect for Lori and the effort that she went to in order for me to be happy with the situation. I've had to take a step back from adoption since Jaxson but as he's gotten older it's become easier. The biggest thing was a schedule. i know it sounds funny but when I would schedule a chat with Lori or a visit to their house it actually happened and nothing got in the way.

Jeanie and Vaughn Bigham said...

I still have not figured out how to keep up. I used to send little gifts or cards for just about every holiday. Now I'm lucky to get their bday and Christmas gifts in the mail on time. I don't want them to feel that now that I have a baby of my own they are any less important. One thing that helped me a lot was going to visit them all by myself for 4 days. I was able to focus all my attention on just them. It was so special. But when I came back I got back into crazy busy life.

Alli said...

Since Ava was born I haven't been able to spend the time and effort on visits and gifts that I'd like. I had a really hard time letting go of a little bit of the adoption part of me, but I think it's been good. Of course, I will never give it up, and I LOVE seeing Sam and her family, but I have to concentrate on my own first.

jodilee0123 said...

I think from an adoptive parent perspective it is hard when all of our schedules are busy (we have three open adoptions and all have different birth families.) I know I have struggled with hurt feelings when my emails haven't been returned or even acknowledged. It was easy when our children's birthmothers lived at home, but after highschool and/or college, life just gets busy--people grow and change and there is nothing we can do about it. I think that they know exactly how busy you are and exhausted you are and just how much you have to do. Don't feel bad about your quick answers or notes on facebook. Use it. It's much appreciated. And I'm sure if things have significantly changed with visits and such, I'm sure they are explaining the situation with great care with the kiddos. I have told my ladies that they have graduated to the family level where I feel I don't need to clean for them and my house is messy when they come over. It saves me A LOT of time! :0)

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