Saturday, June 27, 2009

Pros and Cons

I recently encountered a young girl who is pregnant. 
I decided to not sugar coat my thoughts because I knew everyone else 
who she was talking to for advice was. 
I pulled her aside and had her write her pros and cons list of single parenting
As we went down this list every single PRO had to do with her selfish reasons,
none of it was for the child. 
I underlined all the "I get to...I would see...I would get..." 

I say this all the time and I will say it a million more... 
'I' ended when you got pregnant
It is now about your baby... 
You are no longer the one whose feelings should be guarded! 

I then said to this girl "Now what is best for your BABY?" 
She said, placing.
Geez I wanted to shake her...
luckily I think I made a breakthrough.
This may sound a bit self righteous...I don't mean it to be at all. 

I just feel that women need to think more intensely about their baby when they are in this situation! 
I love y'all!! Jessa :)


StefanieJinelle said...

I think it's good you were able to talk to this girl about it. But also, you have to remember when you're in that sort of situation, you wish and hope that you can keep your baby, even when you know how hard it will be. When at first when everyone is telling you to place you want to go against everyone else. I was like that. I had to find out for myself that placing was the right decision. I understand that you can see the long run but this girl is young and scared and doesn't see it at first. She doesn't get the full picture that she's having a baby and she'll be a mom. When she realizes she needs to put her baby first she'll know what to do. There is no "right" or "wrong" choice if you choose to place or keep. Everyone has their own decision and it's different from everyone else.

Anonymous said...

It is awesome that you were able to talk to this girl about her situation and things. That is encouraging. I know it can't be easy.

birthMOM said...

yay jessa, awesome that you were able to help her thoughts be more organized so that she could start thinking rationally about the reality of her situation. I couldn't agree more - it is not about us, it's about the baby and what is best for the baby - after all isn't that what being a mother is really about?!

Jessalynn Speight said...

Stefanie Jinelle- I know how hard it can be. Trust me!! I was planning on keeping my baby until just a little bit before I placed. I wasn't forcing her to place or keep she wasn't looking at the full picture which is why I wanted to help her out and look at everything. I am sorry if you were offended by my post.

StefanieJinelle said...

No it's cool. I'm not offended easily. I just know what it's like because it's so recent to me that people had shoved it down my throat that adoption was the right thing. But I needed to know for myself. I know that you wanted the young girl to see that placing would be a good choice for her son/daughter. You may have the thought in the back of your mind that placing would be the best choice but you always want to try to make single parenting work because you love your baby more than you could love anyone else and want to believe that your baby is yours. Once you see the full picture and know the couple who you're placing with you'll know deep down that your baby has always been theirs. :)

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