Thursday, March 10, 2011

Oh happy Day!

many of you have written OR legislators about HB 2904 . thank you. your voices were heard! 

check out the latest on THIS blog. sweet relief. 

heres an interesting part of my day:

many of you have read the awful things that were written about myself and jessa (and mrs r) on the first mother forum blog by jane edwards and lorraine dusky, as well as their readers in the comments section of many blog posts. i met jane today, in the flesh, in salem at a meeting regarding the bill. I walked up to her after the meeting, "hello jane (hand extended to shake) im desha wood. i enjoyed reading the slander and misleading 'facts' you wrote about me on your blog!" with a warm friendly smile on my face. 

she denied TO MY FACE ever haven written anything about me on her blog! 

she said "daisha daisha, no i havent ever written anything about you. i dont know who you are.
i said "yeah, jane you did." i told her my name again, and that i had it all copied and pasted and would be more than happy to email it to her if she needed the reminder. she then said "im confused, i didnt write anything about anybody". i put my arm around her shoulders in a side hug, she is much shorter than i am, and we walked out of the room together, and i laughed and said "jane! you linked my name in your post to my facebook profile!"

and she said "oh, oh yes, that. well that was sub-sequential..." and she mumbled a lot about how that was all an after thought, and unfortunate, (i didnt really hear/understand as she wouldnt speak directly to me and people were entering the room for the next meeting while we were all trying to exit the room, everyone talking/chatting, it was a lil chaotic) and tried to leave my side hug but the hall was crowded so there wasnt really anywhere for anyone to go. mind you, not only did she not fess up to her writings, she never apologized for writing those things.

so i looked her in the one eye and i said to her: "well, i look forward to getting to know you better and working with you on analyzing the current adoption laws and creating positive reform and positive changes if need be, i feel that that can be done, and i am looking forward to it! We will be seeing a lot of each other, and i hope we can work together and overcome our differences!" (she was trying to walk away while i was talking to her, crowded hallway made it difficult) while talking i had let her out of my side hug, tried to shake her hand again, and then as she turned away in disregard i patted her on the shoulders with a lil squeeze and said "see you soon!" i never stopped smiling or using a genuine friendly tone of voice. 

must be that damned koolaid. excuse me while i go tend to the rainbow i just farted. hope theres lots of gold at the end. adoption luvs


Risa said...

Omigosh, that is the BEST thing ever.

Lara Zierke said...

Oh man, that is funny. I am SO GLAD you had the courage and poise to confront her. I would've just slinked into the shadows and glared from a distance. :)

I am also ECSTATIC about the bill. I live in Idaho and didn't think it directly affected me until I found out that the adoption agency we use often finds birth moms in Oregon. Phew!

Thanks for being awesome!

Megan said...

Oh, Desha, I just LOVE you!

Katie BQ said...

That was hilarious! Now I'm so sorry I missed seeing it go down.

Debbie said...

Desha, you are a superstar.

Angee said...

That made my day. Glad you were so positive and kept that smile on your face. :) You're awesome! :)

Mary said...

I admire your composure, Desha. If I were in your situation, I would have a VERY hard time smiling at someone who had slandered me- especially if they denied ever doing so. Well done!

Lindsey from The R House said...

I am still speechless.

Why would anyone not stand by what they have written and posted on the Internet? It never goes away even if you go back and delete it.

What the what?

Cheers to you and the Koolaid! Bottoms up!

Nicole said...

Ok, so please do not mind my ignorance, but I have a question. I am not saying I am for the bill or against it because I have not done the research you have desha, but all I have heard about it is that it would extend the time a birth mother has to make her decision/change her mind from 2 days to 10 days.

I do not see an issue with that. More time for the birth mother to be sure of her decision? Is that it or are there ulterior motives or conditions written into this bill that are not clear? is that all there is to it?

Excuse me if I am opening up a can of worms here. I am not trying to stir up a debate, I am just trying to understand so I myself can become informed.

And I did read the mean things she said about you on the blog that weren't even true and factual. She seemed to be making assumptions without confirming if you ask me - boo for not standing behind what one has written. Does that also mean she doesn't remember writing this bill? Just sayin?


birthMOM said...

@ nicole, the bill is/was much more than what you stated above. you can find the bill in its entirety on the blog that is linked in the post. you can also read my interview by mrs r on the r house blog about the bill. but even the things i chose to discuss in the interview, was only regarding a fraction of the negative implications the bill would have implemented.

the amendment to current law which jane wrote after the bill was brought to attn of the legislators, was focused on introducing a 10 day revocation period, but since the amendment was never an official document or officially presented to a committee in legislature, i havent made any formal comments about it, and im not aware that anyone else has either, the only exception being the author, jane edwards on her fmf blog. what you have read about the amendment on fmf is only a misleading hint at what the implications of the amendment would have truly implemented. in reality it had many detrimental implications.

current oregon law ALREADY provides a birthmother until the time of finalization to revoke her consent, aka change her mind. (the average time till finalization is about 6 mos in oregon.) the exception to this is if the birthmother signs the certificate of irrevocability, which waives her right to change her mind regarding her consent to relinquish. Nothing in the current law states that a birthmother has to sign the certificate of irrevocability, nor does it say WHEN she has to sign any documents. yet most choose to sign the certificate at the same time that relinquishment papers are signed.

there are many other problems with the wording of the amendment, but since it is dead before it even became a reality, its all moot.

if you want to be more involved let me know. the formal work group will be established in the coming months to analyze the current laws in oregon to see if there is truly a need for 'reform' that can be agreed upon by ALL the stakeholders in adoption.

and yes, it is very disturbing to think that one such as jane who wrote so many blatantly false things regarding people like myself, and mrs r, while falsely interpreting the bill that she helped write, can write something that potentially can become law that will effect thousands of lives.

Nicole said...

Thanks for clearing this up. This has got me interested now. I am going to read the interview you mentioned. I wasn't sure where it was but remember reading on fmf the bash about it.

It's sad to me how uneducated I was when signing all the legal mumbo jumbo. It doesn't change my plan or that it happened how it was supposed to, just saddens me to be aware of how little I knew or was even informed of at the time.

birthMOM said...


birthMOM said...

from facebook:

Huzzah! Good work ladies :-)


‎@Desha- you are now one of my heroes! You rock!!

Desha, have I told you lately that freakin' LOVE you! You rock!

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