Saturday, May 10, 2014

a hug for you today

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for the women who lost their children, I have a hug for you.

for the women who had no choice, I have a hug for you.
for the women who chose, and things didn't work out like they were supposed to, I have a hug for you.

for the women who chose and everything is perfect bliss, I have a hug for you.

to all my birthmother sisters, regardless of situation or circumstance, today is our day ...

#callitwhatyouwill #mytruth

today is national birth mothers day.

this posts hashtag was brought to you by inspiration from Mrsperrbear of Not Quite Juno.
#amazingwoman #creativetags #alwayskeepinitreal #noteveryoneplaced

Friday, May 9, 2014


A bit ago BirthMother Baskets announced a super rad campaign. 

I feel so lucky to have been involved.

When I chose to place my sweet baby girl, I knew it was the right thing for her.

I never gave up. I didn't take the easy way out. I simply made the best choice for her.

I Gave Love, I Gave Life, but I NEVER Gave Up. I #placed.

Share your pictures!! Here are a few of my faves so far. Post them on twitter or Facebook with the #placed!

Friday, March 21, 2014

A Full Heart

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Last week I was featured in a little magazine called Cosmopolitan. To say I am blown away and very thankful for the opportunity would be an understatement. So many thoughts and emotions.

I am thankful for the opportunity to share the beauty and love that adoption brings.  I am thankful for the opportunity to have another family brought into my life because of adoption. I am thankful for the support of my friends and family. Most of all I am thankful for Josie. My beautiful baby girl and birth daughter. She means so much to me. She always will. She is a star and a spitfire. I would not be anywhere near what I am today without her.

This blog started out as a way for me to get my feelings out. It grew into much more than what I ever expected. I have many friends who I could not even begin to start naming because I could write 500000 pages of names, single spaced, 10 font.

I do need to give a shout out to birthMOM (aka Desha). She is incredible. She helps me in so many ways. She is a confidant.

I am starting to focus very heavily on bringing retreats to every state possible. If you would like to request a retreat in your area please head over to Birth Mother Baskets and very soon we will have a tab where you can request these retreats. We will do around 3-4 a year.

I am highly encouraged that the world is not lost in the beauty of adoption. It is no longer only about women who were forced and coerced so heartlessly. There are strides to be made, and things to be learned. Overall, Adoption is changing for the better everyday.

And for some comic relief and a little edumacation...
Here are some videos Desh and I made together in Oregon.

#1 Emotions and Grieving, it's important!
#2 Our biggest pet peeves in adoption, part 1. (there will be a part 2!!)
#3 etc etc etc. Our outtakes, and us being, us!  

Sunday, March 16, 2014

How Not To Handle A "Failed Adoption"

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Unfortunately I will admit that this post is a little bit passive aggressive. I think it needs to be said.

This has happened twice in a month, with two different couples, that I have seen personally.

An expectant mother chooses a couple.
The couple is excited.
The expectant mother changes her mind.
The couple writes a nasty blog post and is not careful about said expectant mother's identity.

First let me disclaimer that I understand emotions run VERY high in the adoption world. A failed adoption comes with a mix of emotions. Never should that mean you are in turn rude to or about the expectant mother.

While I am "Pro Adoption" I am very "Pro Choice" That means I think an expectant mother should have the choice to do whatever she wants, unless that mother is putting her child in harms way.

That baby is not yours until the papers are signed. That does not make a failed adoption any less painful but those are just the facts. A couple is supposed to 100% always be prepared for that to happen.

Now, if this does happen you are to handle it with grace, kindness, and understanding. This does not mean you can't be sad, but you can not be mean.

A lovely example of this would be my friends Shauna and Angie…BOTH ARE HOPING TO ADOPT… Both have recently gone through a failed adoption. Both handled it with grace and kindness. Never anything bad about the birthmother whether it be direct or passive aggressive. They were sad and devastated. But they were kind.

Here is why you should not write a blog post that is anything but kind (as if i should even need to write a list):

* It will deter other birthmothers from ever choosing you if they read that and/or have any sense.
* It makes you come off as a heartless human being, even if that is not what you are, thats how it comes off.
* Think about that expectant mother and all the pain and anguish she is going through with the decision. In 99.99% of cases it is not something she is taking lightly
* No expectant mother should ever be either directly or passive aggressively berated for her decision that she ultimately has every right to make.
* It doesn't make you feel any better. Maybe in the short run…but not in the long run. IF you do need to write something make it in your own little journal in your own bedside table. Don't blast her name and profile pic all over the internet. NOT COOL!

What you should do in a failed adoption:
*Grieve. You absolutely have the right to grieve. Just do it properly. Not writing emotion filled blog posts about the situation.
*Send a little gift for the baby to the expectant mother with a note wishing them good luck.
*Go to the spa, get a massage
*Do some Yoga, Meditation, or Work out
*Go on a mini vacay
*Get yourself back out there. Seriously. Even if it is hard. Network yourself.

I love you all. Emotions are crazy. Adoption is a roller coaster. People make mistakes. Let us learn from our past mistakes and move forward to be better today then you were yesterday.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

First Podcast!~ Tiffany Baugh~Adoptee/Birthmother

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This is a podcast with the beautiful Tiffany Baugh. She is an Adoptee and a Birthmother. She has some unique perspective on adoption. She shares her feelings of growing up knowing who her birthmother was, choosing to place, and maintaining her open adoption.

Podcast Intro and First Interview

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Here is the first Podcast. It is a quick little diddy about what we are doing here!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/ BirthmothersForAdoption

Friday, February 21, 2014

Nobody Is Asking US

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To Whom It May Concern:

There have been many articles lately in the news here in Utah about birthfather rights in the adoption world. There is one story in particular going around, It is that of Jake Strickland and other birth fathers suing for dishonest adoption practices. All these men are getting to tell their story, which is great. There is one problem, Nobody is asking us.

Who are we? We are the birthmothers. We are the women who chose to place. We are the women who carried the child for nine months. We are the ones with morning sickness. We are the ones with medical bills. We are the ones with this innocent beautiful baby growing inside of us day by day, all the while we are making the decision of what to do with our unplanned pregnancies.

This is a travesty.

Some of us had involved birth fathers, some us had ones that left and never talked to us again. Some of us had birth fathers who begged us to get abortions, some of us had birth fathers who then said they would fight for the baby. Some of us paid for every single thing ourselves, Some of us had birth fathers who helped. One important thing: ALL OF US followed the law.

Not every birth mother is sneaky and dishonest, in fact 99% of them are not. One of us has a birth father included in this ridiculous law suit. She followed the law as well. Some of us had birth fathers in the military, making our adoption choice even more difficult, but we still followed the law. One of us is married to the birthfather.

So we ask, hear our side. Listen to what we have to say. We do believe laws need to be reformed, but we do also believe laws need to be kept birthmother friendly.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Podcasts and Vlog Interviews

Hey! Starting Monday we will be going from drab to fab!! Interviews with professionals, members of the triad, etc. It is going to be great fun! 

Stay tuned for the actual links! They will be posted here as well as iTunes! 

If you are interested in being interviewed email birthmothers4adoption@gmail.com

Also look for a fun video at the end of next week from a whole bunch of awesome birthmoms you know and love!!

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