bring her home!

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Adoption comes in all shapes, sizes, and... species!

#bringpitsiehome
click here >>> http://www.youcaring.com/pet-expenses/bring-pitsie-home-/336656

It's time, adoption community. 

It's time for you to give back! 

Jessa and I have both given selflessly to you over the years,
and we have never asked for anything in return. 

Until now. 

In a joint effort once again, we have embarked on a new project, but we cant don't it alone. 

You can be the difference.
You can make it happen.

You can bring Pitsie home to California to live in a forever home with Jessa.

Follow the link to donate right now, not later, you'll forget later. do it now!
Then share the link with your friends and family so that they can do the same!

Every small donation adds up to make a huge difference. 

#bringpitsiehome
http://www.youcaring.com/pet-expenses/bring-pitsie-home-/336656 <<< click here

ps Jessa's bday is soon, so really you don't have any excuses.

Pitsie and her Haitian manmi, Desha

sad or happy.

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If you want to be sad, 

no one in the world can make you happy. 

But if you make up your mind to be happy, 

no one and nothing on earth 

can take that happiness from you. 

~paramhansa yogananda

india 2012. image property of birthMOM ©

Wednesdays Post-Fathers

I set this to post on Wednesday and I guess it didn't work!

As a birthmother I know that the one thing that really brought me to thinking of adoption was the fact that i wanted my baby to have a father. Last month I met an adoptive father who was just amazing!!! And with the permission of his wifey I am posting about him.

I had seen Josh on Lindsey's blog before (guilty blog stalker) and heard his wife gloat endlessly about what an amazing husband she had.

I met Josh for the first time at the National FSA Conference. Josh had never met me before but I was feeling really sick and I didn't want to miss out on the conference especially since my baby's adoptive mom was there!! My friend Ashley and I set out to find someone to give me a blessing. At this point I only kinda knew Lindsey I had only met her a few times before. But I knew how she talked about her husband and I felt comfortable asking him for a blessing (sorry to get religious...but hey its what happened) I asked Josh for a blessing and he was happy to give me one! I then saw him again playing with his boys in one of the sitting areas keeping them busy. But all this was just small compared to what i was going to learn about him in October.

In October I decided to drive down with some beautiful ladies (tamara, heidi, lindsey, and i), 2 cute kids (tyson and gavin) and 1 awesome dude (josh) to the SW Regional Adoption Conference. 13 hours is a long way to drive , somehow i got lucky enough to sit up front and ride shotgun the whole way!
I personally think it was meant to happen. I learned so much.

I will admit I always worried whether or not and adoptive parent could truly love their adopted child as much as their own. I especially worried about it because my baby's adoptive family has 2 biological children already! All of my fears were DEFINITELY put to rest for good.

The first time I noticed the incalculable (if this isn't a word, it is now! ) love Josh had for his two sons was when he looked in the rearview mirror and said "Linds, look at those beautiful eyes" Now no one knew this until now so don't tell, but I literally had to choke back tears . The way he said it was so sincere, so truthful and loving. He wasn't saying it just to say it. He was saying it because he meant it. The next few days I witnessed time and time again. Josh answered questions for me from 2 very important perspectives that I needed at this time in my life. I had so many things I was worried about and NONE of them are still fears because of something Josh said.

The way Josh looked at his boys, took care of them, held them, it was just a beautiful relationship. A father, and adoptive father, an advocate for adoption, and a person in general like Josh deserves to be recognized!

josh and his boys. baby G and tys

Guest Blogger! My Baby Josie's Adoptive Family

Big Brother 1 (BB1)
Big Brother 2 (BB2)
Adoptive Parents (AP)
birth mom: (J) aka (JLBills)
Baby J: Josie

1) what do you remember about the face to face? What about when you found out you were getting a baby?

AP: First of all, we prepared the boys for this first meeting by telling them that we were just meeting J and that she would not make a decision about choosing to place her baby with us that day. That's how we as AP had been advised and prepared by our "social worker". So, with that, we went into the meeting not expecting anything but a get to know each other session. The boys were a little nervous for the face to face, but it comforted them knowing that their cousin (the birthmom's friend) was there. So, when J pulled out a basket full of baby related goodies we were shocked. I don't think any of us including the boys knew what it meant until we found the picture of the sonogram that said Congrats. You're having a baby. I think at that moment the boys had a permagrin on their face. We went out for ice cream after the formalities and that's the part the boys remember.

BB1: I liked going out for ice cream. It was fun getting to know her more and have her ask questions about things we like.

BB2: I liked talking with her and her friends. I loved the picture of the baby. I wanted to take it everywhere with me to show everyone. As soon as we got back to my cousin's house I ran right in there house to show them the picture.

2) Finding out it was a girl?
AP: Once we found out the baby was a girl I wanted to surprised the boys in a fun way. So I bought a PINK baby doll, cute little pink shoes and wrapped them in a package. I told them the gift was something our new baby could use. When they saw the pink and the doll, they knew it was a girl.

BB1: I had been wanting a baby girl for quite a while, so I was excited to be a big brother to a little sister.

BB2: I thought she might be a whiner, but I thought it was cool.

AP: We were elated. AD (adoptive dad) wept.

3) what do you remember about coming down to the hospital? What were your feelings?

AP:The boys were at their grandparents during the delivery. We didn't know for sure if our birthmom would want the boys at the hospital, but she wanted them there the very next day. The boys were stoked to be able to come. The whole experience was new and unknown of course for them, but it helped again that their cousin and aunt were there for most of it.

BB1: I remember talking to J's family and they were really nice to me. I remember J giving me a hug from her bed and then handing me Baby J to hold. I thought her face was puffy, but I loved holding her. She fell asleep in my arms.

BB2: I remember being happy and everyone in the room happy and then this nurse came in and got mad at us for me and my brother being in the room. Then I remember everyone telling the nurse that we were the baby's brothers.

AP: We wanted to be sensitive to J and her need for time with Baby J as well as her family, so we did not bring our boys with us. It made my heart feel so good that she wanted the boys there right away. We were also so appreciative of the time we were able to spend with J's family. We shared a very special experience with them when we came back to the hospital the day after the delivery. The boys remembered very clearly the event with the nurse. Just for explanation, the nurse was just doing her job enforcing the rule that only immediate family members could be in the room. She was apparently not up to speed on the fact that this was an adoption. So, she was quite adamant that the boys could not be in the room. I think it shocked us all when J and her family immediately replied just as adamantly that they were immediate family; they were her brothers. Then the nurse still didn't get it and turned to J and said "You're not old enough for these boys to be yours". Immediate reply: "they are her adoptive brothers." I think at that moment it really hit us and the boys that yes, our boys were her brothers, yes we were going to be her parents and everyone in that room knew and supported it. Great feeling.

BB2: I remember going back to the building where we met J the day after we were at the hospital. I remember giving J a special gift. We got her a build a bear and a necklace and we got one for Baby J too so they matched. I remember J giving me a hug and her mom and dad telling me to take care of Baby J.

BB1: I remember J and her family crying. I hoped they were crying for joy. I was sad for J, but I knew we would take care of Baby J.

3) what do you remember about josie coming home?

BB1: First of all I did not like it the my mom and my new sister did not get to come home with us. School started for me a few days after Baby J was born, so I had to go home. I remember me and my brother and dad calling my mom every night to talk to mom and Baby J and have family prayer over the phone. I was so excited when they finally got to come home.

BB2: I remember our neighbors decorated our house and front yard with a big welcome home sign when my mom finally came home with Baby J. I remember being nervous at first to hold Baby J b/c I was afraid I would drop her.

4) do you ever have to explain to your friends about her being adopted? How do you do it? And does it bug you?
BB1: Some of my friends ask me if my sister is adopted b/c she has different color skin than mine. It does not bug me that they ask unless they ask me over and over. My friends think Baby J is so cute.

BB2: It does not bother me if people ask me if my sister is adopted. After my sister was born I told everyone at school that I had a new sister. My friends think Baby J is cool.

5) what do you feel about josie's birthmom still visiting? How did you feel about coming to her wedding?

BB1/2: It's amazing. She's one of our best friends. It's cool. She gives us hugs. I wouldn't feel weird at all with her around my friends or at church. I would introduce her as my friend and my sister's birthmom.

BB2:The wedding was awesome. I was a little disappointed we didn't get to spend more time with J, but my mom helped me understand that it was her wedding day and she needed to be with all the other people.

BB1: Most people didn't know me and I felt just a bit out of place but I was glad I got to see J again.

AP: I just have to include this cute story. As a family, we had been looking forward to attending J's wedding. My son apparently had been talking about it at school with his teacher and how excited he was to go. When I went in to my son's classroom one day I was visiting with his teacher and she was asking me about our adoption. I was explaining to her that we have an open adoption, that we communicate regularly with my daughter's birthmom and that we were going to her wedding soon. She explained to me that my son has been talking about going on this trip for days and he was so excited to go to "one of his best friend's wedding." My boys absolutely adore J. I am excited for them to be able to tell our daughter about her birthmom and share their experiences with her.

A Lovely Statement

So, One of my biggest fears when I was making my adoption plan was whether or not the adoptive couple I chose would be able to love my baby as one of their own. So today I got on Facebook and I saw this statement:

It's amazing how much love you can have for someone you just met and yet, I feel like I've know him his whole life. Many worry that if you adopt an older child that you won't love them the same way you love the children you raised since birth. I honestly believe the Lord helps bridge those missing years with an unseen love that has always been there for each other. He's my boy!

This makes me very happy to read! It is beautiful, really! My friend has waited two years to pick up this little boy from another country and I know she couldn't be happier. I know that loving a child that is not your flesh and blood as your own, is very possible.

I've Been a Putz

Hey all. I'm sorry I've been a putz (This is Shanna). I haven't posted anything or talked to anyone. I thought I would write about an experience I had today. Today I was talking to my neighbor and she asked about my little boy that I placed for adoption (now just over two and half years ago). She asked about my story and why I made the choice I did. After I had finished telling her, she said "You poor girl. You've been through so much." I know she meant it out of kindness (she is such a sweet person), but it got me thinking. I feel that "poor girl" doesn't really apply. If it weren't for that little boy coming in to my life two years ago, I wouldn't be where I am. He is the reason I was pulled back in to place, and the reason I changed alot of things in my life. Placing him into the arms of another family was the hardest thing I ever did, and is the hardest thing I know I'll ever do, but how could I not give this little boy a chance with a steady, happy home where I knew with all my heart he needed to be, after he had done so much for me, even before he was born.

A lady I work with is about to become a grandmother. Her daughter is not married, admits that the father of the child will not be involved, and that she knows her mother will be the one raising the baby. When her mom asked her if she would place the baby for adoption the girl said there was no way she could do that because she loved her baby too much. I have nothing against this girl, and have told her I hope the best for her, but something in my heart just hurt when I heard she had said she loved her baby too much to let him go. I know she didn't mean it to come across as mean or attacking in any way, but for me it hurt because I love my little boy so much, even a few years later. I still feel as deep a love for him as I have for my daughter now.

I feel that there is a purpose for all things, I feel that a child cannot be an "accident"; there are no accidents in life, there are just some things that are not planned. It all depends on how you view and handle the situation that makes it feel like an "accident". I will never consider that little boy an accident or a mistake. When people ask if I had a chance would I go back in time and change things, I have a hard time answering. I would want to change all the wrong things I did, but if I changed all of those things, I wouldn't have had him.

Anyway that's my little spill. I will try to be better about posting from now on. Love you all.

Something I wrote long before my baby was born

Dear little one,
Know that I love you.
Know that I wish you well.
Know that I want you to be happy.
I know only time will tell.

Dear little one,
I can't wait to look in your eyes
I can't wait to tell you I love you.
I can't wait to hold you tight.

Dear little one,
Please know this choice is for you.
I have prayed about it
Once I prayed I just knew

Dear little one,
Look at your family
They have been waiting for a really long time.
Two brothers who will love and adore you
And parents who are just sublime.

So dear little one,
Know that I love you.
Know that I wish you well.
Know that I want you to be happy.
I know only time will tell.

powerful words

tonight, as i sat in the audience of Disneys Broadway, The Lion King (for the second time in the last 2 weeks mind you -  absolutely fantastic show) i was superfluously hit by the power of the song 'Endless Night'. Simba cries out in desperation to Mufasa's memory -

You promised you'd be there, Whenever I needed you!!

so many birthmothers are feeling lost, empty and/or hurting tonight, for a plethora of reasons.

my heart aches for you, for i, personally, am at peace, and oh how sweet it is. oh how i wish i could bestow that peace on those who feel that they are without.  I hope that someone out there somewhere, somehow, can feel my hug as you read/listen to these lyrics.
There is hope, the sun will rise.

heres a video of a performance on the Rosie O'Donnell show from back in the nineties.
here's the amazing powerful lyrics.

Where has the starlight gone?
Dark is the day
How can I find my way home?

Home is an empty dream
Lost to the night
Father, I feel so alone

You promised you'd be there
Whenever I needed you
Whenever I call your name
You're not anywhere

I'm trying to hold on
Just waiting to hear your voice
One word, just a word will do
To end this nightmare

When will the dawning break
Oh endless night
Sleepless I dream of the day

When you were by my side
Guiding my path
Father, I can't find the way

You promised you'd be there
Whenever I needed you
Whenever I call your name
You're not anywhere

I'm trying to hold on
Just waiting to hear your voice
One word, just a word will do
To end this nightmare

I know that the night must end
And that the sun will rise
I know that the clouds must clear
And that the sun will shine

I know
Yes, I know
The sun will rise
The clouds must clear

I know that the night must end
I know that the sun will rise
And I'll hear your voice deep inside

I know that the night must end
And that the clouds must clear
The sun will rise

A Poem

Warning: I am not an amazing poet! I just wanted to share my feeling.

Nine short months I spent with you
many long nights I cried.
I wanted to do right by you
Give you a good life

I was on my knees every night
begging to God above
What I had to do for you
While showing all my love

I met a girl named Aly B
who showed me what was right
She helped me meet your mom and dad
I talked to them that night
From that time on
the adoption journey took flight

When we found you were a girl
I was filled with glee
Two big brothers and a princess
The family was complete

Then came time for you to come
and fill our lives with love
Your pretty face and fun spirit
surely sent from up above

I can't believe you are almost two
My how time flew by
you always make me smile
And you don't even have to try

You bring so much joy to everyone
You are not run of the mill
I love you sweet baby girl
and I always will
Jessa

a simple reminder

~~ its easy to be happy. 

i choose to be happy. 

jessa chooses to be happy. 

its ok if you dont choose the same, 

but dont try to convince me/her, 

or anyone else who shares their stories on this blog, 

of otherwise. ~~

i feel it is important to publicly state that everyone is invited to share their experience, but each is simply that- an individual experience, nobody can take that experience away from us or transplant their experience onto someone elses. we all choose to share various snippets at various times of the things we have overcome and learned in the process. if you would like to guest blog i invite you to email me (deshawood at gmail.com) or jessa (BIRTHMOTHERS4ADOPTION @ GMAIL.COM) your story. we would love to post it! 

WHY i feel that being positive is important and WHY sharing that positivity with others IS important 

"I have a voice, and I’ve chosen to use it, for good. I want the world to know that I placed my baby for adoption and I am HAPPY about that choice. I can honestly say that I know I always will be. "

the piece linked above was written by desha aka birthMOM, to help commemorate and celebrate national adoption month (november) 2009 per invitation by the arizona experiment.

one of the best days of the year!

may 8th 2010 is one of the best days of the year! (cuz its another excuse for me -and you- to get presents!!) just kidding, sorta. 

but in all seriousness.... birthmothers day ... what a fabulous day!

to celebrate. to cherish. to love. to remember. to honor. to treasure. to thank. to live. to embrace. 

do something nice for yourself, you deserve it. dont sit around and feel sad for yourself on birthmothers day or on mothers day! do that on monday if you must ;-) 

happy birthmothers day to all of the wonderful women i get to call friend as i share this journey of sisterhood and amazing motherlove. what a privilege! we are so truly blessed. 

adoption luvs, desha

Reflections

WOW!  I just realized tonight its been almost 18 months since I placed Josie! Holy Smokes time has flown by me quick!! 

I am so excited because I get to see her and her mommy very soon!! I am so excited I could type the word excited an amazing amount of times!! 

I was looking back and thinking about everything I have done since then:

I went to school for another semester, I went to 2 more military trainings, I met an amazing man!!, I learned more about myself then I ever have, and I have made a great amount of friends from so many places! 

I am so thankful for all my friends and family who have stood behind me. 

This shout-out is especially for one person in particular:

Alyson! 

Aly is my best friend in the entire world! I moved into her apartment when I was just a few weeks pregnant. She is also the one who introduced me to Josie's fantastically perfect family.

Aly is the most amazing person I know. She is always so christlike and thoughtful. She helped me through my pregnancy right down to the very birth when she was by my bedside encouraging me to get through it all. She has always been there for me, no matter what. We have had our little squabbles, but every good friend does. If it hadn't been for Aly helping me through it all, I don't think I would have been as strong as I did. There were so many nights where I cried uncontrollably after I placed and she was there helping me out. I remember one time in particular when I couldn't stop crying and she sat there turned on a movie for me and played with my hair till I calmed down. That may seem insignificant, but for me there is nothing that can ever replace a good friend. Someone who will be there for you through anything. Aly and her family were amazing to me. I feel so apart of her family its ridiculous. 

My whole point in going on and on about this is that everyone needs a good support system. Whether it be a friend, family, a boyfriend, or God. Everyone needs someone. We simply cannot get through this life alone. Whether you are religious or not, I think you could agree with that. 

So here is to you Aly and all of my great friends who have helped me out so much! 

Dr Seuss is Great!

So I was cruisin along on facebook looking at some groups.

When I came across this quote, written by Dr Seuss

After this past week of going back and forth

its exactly what i needed, Please enjoy its worth

"Be who you are and say what you feel,

because those who mind don't matter

and those who matter don't mind."

So i realized something great from just this one line

my opinions are great solely cuz they're mine

We are all entitled to say what we feel, how big or how small

because those who really matter will stand behind it all

For this child

Personal blog

I just wanted to share this. I'm hoping to get a better post in soon. Anway, here is a link to a recent blog I posted on my personal blog. You can also find my adoption story on this blog. Just click the label adoption and it will pull up everything I have posted about adoption.

I know that even though it was so hard for me to do, and I don't know of anything I will have to do in my life that will be harder, placing my little boy for adoption totally changed my life in a much better way. I am also so thankful that I have made it these past two years (it was two years ago this month that I decided to place my little boy for adoption, I chose the couple I decided to place with, and I met them all within two weeks) and am so thankful to have the love and support of my husband and family.

Where is THE LINE??

So I have noticed a lot of comments dealing with boundaries or how they want their child to know where they come from. I have thought a lot about this and kind of want to address it into two parts since both birthmothers and adoptive parents read this site. Now before I type any of this I think it is important for everyone to know that I realize and respect the fact that everyone has a different type of openess that works for thim. All of the things I am about to write have solely to do with my perspective on things. So here goes...

Birthmothers- First of all, even if you are sick of hearing this, you are all amazing and even though I don't know each of you individually, you are still all strong women who mean the world to probably more people than you know. Now we all love our little ones that fact is obvious. We also have to figure out how we are going to handle the boundaries. It is so tough to figure this thing out. On one hand you want to see them everyday, yet you know that cannot be healthy. There is that initial fear of stepping on the adoptive families toes, of scaring them away, even if you have a concrete plan before the birth it is still a scary thing. Here is what i had to figure out to work for my own situation. You can never totally be prepared for everything. I thought I initially wanted a mostly closed adoption but when I held that baby in my arms I realized that would not work for me. Things change, they will continue to change. I have only been in this for a year and some change so I know I am not an expert on this situation, but things will change that I am sure of. So my point of all this babbling I am doing is talk with the couple before and make sure that both parties realize that you all will change and so will your wants and needs. The thing that is most important to discuss is that no matter what happens you will not lose contact with the couple so you can at least always know how the child is doing. (Provided that is what you want).
Now as for your baby knowing where they come from there are lots of things you can do. I expressed how important it was to me that she knows where she came from. I have written her letters at each important event in her life thus far. I also created a scrapbook of me growing up so she could know more about me. I know that all though these things may seem small she will know that I loved her enough to give her the most beautiful thing a child could want, a happy and eternal family. The thing I had to come to terms with that was the hardest for me, is ultimately it is up to her to decide whether or not she wants to have contact with me further down the road. And as much as it kills me to think she could not want contact with me , if that is what she wants that is okay with me. She has a family. She will always be able to find me, I am here waiting when she does, just as I have made my choices she can make hers.

Adoptive couples- Let me say that you also are amazing and I am thankful for what you do. So you've been chosen as an adoptive family to a beautiful baby I am sure the joy felt after that news is undescribable. But there is always the elephant in the room of boundaries to be discussed. Of course you want time to adjust with the new baby, to bond. However, there is the birthmother in the equation. I am sure it is hard because you aren't sure where you would like that line to be. Now, I have said it once and I will say it a million times!! BE HONEST!! Be completely open as to how you want to handle the boundaries. There is nothing wrong with wanting a little privacy but if you promise the world to the birthmother and don't deliver it will be that much more devestating in the long run. I firmly believe there is a birthmother for every adoptive couple out there. So if you as a couple are honest about what you expect you will find a birthmother who fits perfectly into your idea of boundaries. When you decide on those boundaries also be flexible. I am so thankful to my adoptive couple for being so amazingly flexible with my visitation and contact. They let me see her when I had no prior plans to on a family holiday. What they didn't realize is that made me more sure of my decision, they were secure in knowing that I was not going to take her and run but that I just wanted to see how blessed and happy she was to be in such a beautiful family overwhelmed with love for her. If you are flexible and realize needs change, I think it will become more apparent that this situation will work out beautifully.
With that being said, this following paragraph may come off as rude, please do not take it as such. I feel that as the adoptive couple it is your duty to make sure that the child knows without a single doubt in their mind that their birthmother loved and still loves them more then anything in the world. To put across any different of an idea is, for lack of a better term, evil. That child is yours solely because of LOVE. The birthmother chose to place because of LOVE, The birthmother chose you the adoptive family because of the LOVE she felt you could give the child, and the birthmother was strong and brave enough to sign those blood curdling papers because of an undying, never changing, unconditional love. With that being said from day 1 regardless of the boundaries you have set up, make sure the child know they come from love, if nothing else you owe it to the child.

Well, that may not agree with how some of you see it and I look forward to hearing your comments. I just wanted to maybe help at least one person out their with this post. Remember these few things if nothing else. The birthmother will always love, the adoptive family will always love, and the child will always be loved. That is the most important assurance that comes out of the adoption triad. I love you all! Thank you for reading these posts and your comments and opinions. Jessa

Dating after placement!

Hey guys! Sorry it has been so long!! I was asked the other day by someone through email how to handle dating after placement. This is a great topic for external comments and opinions!!! I know that I prefer to tell people right up front by like the second date! Some people wait till they are engaged. I want to know what people's thoughts are on how to handle it!! I will post them!

How long do you wait to tell them?

How do you tell them?

What do you do if handle it wrong??

I MADE IT!!!

Well the first birthday has come and gone!! I thought I would be an absolute mess!!! But it was good! I did cry a little bit but overall it was fine! I wrote in my journal, looked at a few of the pictures I have from birth on up (thats funny because to be honest there is like a million pics). I decided yesterday was to be celebrated not grieved! Thankfully I have a fantastic group of friends who helped me through this milestone by calling and talking to me! I am so thankful to have gone through this experience. I was also lucky enough to get to see my baby a week before her birthday. Although it was a short amount of time, it was a good time! I was so happy to get to see her! She has grown so much and into a beautiful girl! I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father who has helped me through this trial and who gave me this blessing. I love you all!!!

Love Jessalynn

because most never read the comments

comment from Christie Smathers in response to this post

I am a birth mother of a 2.5 year old son. I had alot of friends who told me i was a horrible mother for doing this and i didnt love my son. Recently i was told that i was wrong in "forcing myself upon my birthson" because we have an open adoption. I love my birth son and his family. His parents are more than best friends to me, and more than a sister and brother. We are almost like one family - just with 4 parents. We see eachother and talk to eachother all the time. We love eachother. I love my son as much as i love the child i now have with my beloved husband. My birth son knows who i am, and will always know. My daughter will always know who my son is and his parents.

What i try and remember when these people say these things is that they dont know. They dont know how much i love my son, and why i did what i did. How can they know when they themselves have never - in anyway - been touched by adoption? It is truly the greatest and hardest thing a parent can do, is send her child out to live a better life. Did moses' mother not to the same thing? Did joseph not adopt Christ as his own son? And as for those who speak ill of my openness. How can they know of the love and unique and special one-of-a-kind relationship i have with my family? Each birthparent-adoptivefamily relationship is unique and special in its own day and though some people can understand parts of it, no one can ever fully understand.
Personally i know that i did the right thing. Adoption is a beautiful thing. People are all for adoption when someone is adopting, but hate it when other are placing (including my own grandmother. I was placing my son and she hated me for it even though my aunt had just adopted a little girl). They need to realize that every aspect of adoption is beautiful, and wonderful and miraculous.

Dealing with the first birthday!

So you've placed and the baby's first birthday is coming up! What the heck do you do? I know Desha's baby's is on the twentieth and mine is August 20th. So what do we do?

Here are just a few ideas I came up with and have gotten informed of...

• Make a picture book online of your baby
• Go to the spa
• Make a birthday cake and eat it
• Call and talk to your baby
• Buy yourself a new outfit
• Hang out with good friends
• Look at pictures
• Watch a funny movie

Now these are just a few! Everyone handles things differently! Remember it is okay to cry...heck I do it all the darn time! But I also think it is important to reflect on why you made the choice you did. Remember that driving force! Most of all remember you are loved!

Any Thoughts or Opinions??