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Monday, August 31, 2009

Open Adoption

Hey I felt that I should write about openness of adoption again. Lately everyone is talking about open adoptions! Its great! However some people I know who were put under the impression that they were going to be given an open adoption were completely cut off with no warning.  I would strongly suggest that if you are going to settle for a semi open adoption make sure you fully discuss and WRITE DOWN the terms of the adoption. Remember also that maybe the family might need to hold off on visits for a while to fully adjust, however, this should not prevent you from getting pictures or updates. I would also suggest that you discuss it multiple times, develop a comfortable relationship with the adoptive parents long before placing. Never figure that this stuff will work itself out.  For all you adoptive parents who read this blog, Please when you are chosen keep in mind how an open adoption will afffect this baby and their birthmother.  Never fully cut off contact unless its a threatening danger.  Never tell a birthmother to expect an open adoption just so she will choose you. Decide with your spouse how open you want it, and keep it. I strongly believe that no matter how open or closed you want it their is a birthmother out there wanting the same thing. For everyone involved in the adoption triad, just remember to always look at it from everyone's perspective. Are the adoptive parents confused or feel stepped on? Is the birthmother wanting more pictures and updates? There is many sides to every part of that. Any thoughts and/or comments would be great!! Also remember that if you want to be a guest blogger or to post something email birthmothers4adoption@gmail.com. Or you can email Desha at her email address listed below.
Love you all!!!! 

1 comment:

Karine said...

I agree!!!!!! :) You said it perfectly. Its so hard to see some of my friends who are birth moms, not have an OPEN ADOPTION as they had hoped. I am so glad you expressed yourself Jessa so clearly. I really hope that OPEN ADOPTION "catches" on in the adoption world... I feel it is getting a good start but I hope it continues! HOW CAN A CHILD KNOWING WHO THEY ARE AND WHERE THEY COME FROM BE WRONG?! Having MORE love and PEOPLE TO LOVE THEM!

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