Monday, November 9, 2009

guest blogger: 5 years down the path of life, a reflection

today's guest blogger is jennilee, you may know her from adoptionvoices.com, she won first place in the video contest. to watch her adoption story video you can visit her blog! she has shared her adoption experience with sweetness and love in detail on her personal blog, but for us, i asked her to reflect on her adoption experience 5+ years later!
thank you jennilee, you are loved by me!

I became pregnant the summer of 2003. I was 20 years old. I was not living the life I should have been. At the time I was scared. I didn't know what to do. I was originally going to single parent but as I researched and my love for my baby grew, I felt the best thing for him, was to place him for adoption so that he could have both a mom and a dad.

I placed my baby boy 5 1/2 years ago. My life has been so blessed by open adoption. I love my son. I still miss him and think of him often. I am not sad though. I don't regret my decision. I know I did what was best for my baby. I still have contact with letters and pictures sometimes an email. I celebrate my sons life and how it has changed my life.

I am in a better place today because of my experience.

The journey was definitely bitter sweet. It was very hard the first year, not only recovering from the physical aspect of pregnancy/delivery, but also emotional from the loss and grief of placing a child. I would not change my decision if I had to go back. I am in a better place because of it. My son is happy, healthy and well taken care of. Time truly does heal. I wouldn't say it's 'moving on' because I still have contact, but the hurt is not there anymore.

I am now married to a wonderful man. The adoptive couple and my son were able to be at my reception. I don't have any children with my husband yet, but I look forward to being a mom. I know that my adoption experience will make me a better mom. I understand what unconditional love is and what a child needs more than I did before. I plan to tell my future children about my birth son. I do worry some how I will handle pregnancy/delivery and raising a child after placement.

I know my life would be totally different had I single parented. I don't think I would have married my husband. Dating would have been a lot harder. I use to think "what ifs?" now I don't. I don't know that I would have grown from my experience as much. It's hard to think how my life would be different had I chosen another path. Being a birth mom I have gained an extended family with the adoptive couple. I have made friends with other woman who have been in my place. I understand the love my mom has for me and the sacrifice she was forced to make when she was 16 and placed. I know that my adoption story helped my mom.

I feel my adoption experience has changed my life. It is not the whole part of me, but it has shaped me to the woman I am today.

I grew a lot through the process, matured, learned, gained a testimony of adoption and a better testimony of my church. It brought me closer to my family. I would not be who I am today without adoption.

1 comment:

Karine said...

Your a beautiful person and your story is beautiful! Thank you for sharing it with us! Your an amazing woman and that is plain to see. How blessed others are to know you! Thank you for being the amazing strong person that you are and for being a birth mother. You are an angel to many! Especially your son! :) God Bless you!

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