Even though, I know what I chose was right. For some psychotic reason I am having emotional fits lately.... AHHHHHH!! I don't know if it is the stress of planning a wedding, starting a new job, and moving or If I really am just going crazy. This past week it seemed if I even looked at a pic of Josie I just started to cry... What am I to do! HA! Sometimes I drive myself crazy. The thing that really made it tough was that we had 4 baby blessings in our ward last week, I was baffled that it still hurt a little bit. No stinkin way! I am supposed to be happy that I am starting a new life with a fantastic, most amazing guy ever! But no, my emotions decide they wanna kick by butt!
So this is more a question for you adoption vets out there. What is it that you do to make it easier on yourself. What do you do to stop those crazy, baby missin, baby hungry feelings! Either comment or email me!
And I also wanted to share a quote!
6 comments:
I am so sorry you are having a hard time right now. I am an adoptive mom, but I can only guess that this is completely normal and something you will feel on and off thoughout your lifetime. She is your child and always will be so part of you will want her to be with you while you are doing all these new things. You are both lucky to have each other in your lives. Congrats on all the exciting stuff you have going on! BTW I love the quote you posted, it totally fits what I am feeling right now too.I am going to borrow it for my blog and keep reading it because it makes me feel peaceful. Hugs to you!
Oh hun you are an angel! We love you. Hang in there, just cry, eat chocolate, and have a diet coke. Just remember one of my favorite quotes:
"Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad but it's the middle that counts"
I have no advice for you Jessa, but I offer you my prayers! My hugs! My ears to listen if you ever need to be heard! My friendship, its always here! I think your amazing! Sometimes, change can be scary and you are about to have a lot of change in your life. But I know they are all great steps to happiness!
Know that your not alone. Many care for you and about you. Angels are with you even when you can't see them. Try to continue to give it to God and this too shall pass!
HUGS HUGS HUGS!!!!
I have some advice for you, as I am a birthmom of 6 years now. I think part of all of this emotion is because Mother's Day has came and gone. Trust me...some years MD is easy for me but this year I struggled. I remember planning my wedding three years ago, getting ready to move 2000 miles away from my bdaughter and it was tough!!!
I do a lot of journaling. I also sometimes take down the pictures of my bdaughter when i am having a rough time...as then it is easier to cope through out the day. When you start feeling stressed or emotional try and walk away from the trigger. Call a friend, or do something nice for yourself.
You will always have your good days and then your blue days. Allow yourself to cry and get the emotion out.!!
You are strong...and you can do this!
Time....crappy I know but time heals. The first years are hard. It creeps up on you when you feel the least prepared. But one day you will notice that all these good things you are doing...wedding...new job, ect... will fill your mind and you will find less time thinking about her, which is ok. You will find that it will have been a week maybe 2 and you might feel guilty that you havent' thought about her but it's ok because you have YOUR family. Fun huh, YOUR family. Your arms will be filled with YOUR husband, and your memories will be happy, your sadness leaves and is replaced with happiness. You will find one day you can take down her picture and it will be alright, because she is in your heart but doesn't have to be on your wall. Time does heal but yes the first years are hard. But someday, like me, you will have your "own" babies and it all makes sense.
I just embrace it. If I need to cry, I do. If I need to scream, I do.If its really bad I go down to the beach at night and just let it all pour out of me. The emotion is coming out because it needs to. I know we can to this journey in very different ways and don;t often see eye to eye, but I think these fundamental emotions are the same.
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