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Thursday, June 17, 2010

RAINCLOUDS and LIMA BEANS




So apparently all I preach is how great adoption is, How it is perfect with no sadness, no wanting to look back. How it is sunshine and lollipops. Well how rude of me. I guess I need to direct you to

This one where I was having a hard time...or this one when I couldn't get out of bed so I researched how to handle grief.

Or the day I started the blog just a year ago when I sat and cried to my now husband telling him how badly it hurt. How bad I wanted to hold that sweet little girl that I love so much.

Was it Sunshine and Lollipops then. HELL NO! Is it sunshine and lollipops everyday....you better think again. If it was always Sunshine and lollipops I would go INSANE! Somedays I just wanna sit and cry..no joke.

So now that I spilt the truth I am sure most of you already know seeing as how you can be
A birthparent going through grief of a placed child
An adoptive parent dealing with infertility
an adoptee dealing with confused feelings
or someone just wondering what the heck adoption is about.

Do all of you feel uplifted? Encouraged? Do you have a warm fuzzy in your heart knowing you have friends out there who can help you through these hard times? Or do you feel like someone just kicked you in the stomach when you were already down.

Ya, there are Rainclouds and Lima Beans all the time. But I choose to see the Rainbow at the end and stand up knowing my friends are always right behind me. So I am going to continue posting encouraging things instead of this Raincloud crap and Lima Beans. Besides they taste really nasty.

6 comments:

Shauna* said...

Jessa I want you to know I look up to you so much!!!
you are amazing and I love your blog.

Jill Stones said...

I think we did a dang good job on growing these babies! We chose the miracle of life, not abortion! We didn't get in bad relationships that ended in child abuse! We gave 2 people the chance to have a family, and the baby a chance for a mom AND a dad! Yes I DO think we deserve a pat on the back. After walking out of the hospital with empty arms it is the least we can get!!

Karine said...

Jessa your amazing! I love your honesty! I love it! I can only imagine how hard it must of been to place and to do what you knew was best for your daughter. Your so strong! Even on the lima bean days! Your so strong! The fact that your brave enough to share your honest true feelings for the world to see. To put yourself out there where others could critize, shows me your strength! I know you comfort many who are hurting, you give hope to those trying and I know God will bless you for all that you do! Thank you for being a great example of pure love and selflessness. Thank you for also being a great example of how life does go on and you can find those rainbows. My heart aches for the pain you suffer and I find comfort in knowing you know how to go on. Because of your testimony and sharing your journey, I hope to be a great AC and FAMILY to our birth mother when we are chosen. You have taught me so much! So know that your touching more than just birth moms... your educating and touching hopeful ac! :) LOVE YA GIRL!

Kelly said...

Jess,
I have had some haters on my blog lately too. I understand how you feel. Here is a quote that really helped me. I hope it helps you too.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." -- Theodore Roosevelt

Love you Jessa!

Kelly

AK said...

I can't imagine how much hurt there is, because as an adoptive mom-to-be, my heart hurts for the birthmoms. How strong, all of that you must be. But knowing that in any way I am the cause of any pain. Love how honest you write about the good AND bad.

Mary said...

We wouldn't be able to appreciate the sunshine and lollipops if it weren't for the rain clouds & lima beans! I think it's very commendable that this blog focuses on the positive aspects of adoption without denying the heartache and pain. If readers don't want to be encouraged and uplifted they can look elsewhere. Keep it up, Jessa!

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