Friday, July 16, 2010

then she found me - movie

have you seen it? if so i want to hear your thoughts.

I really enjoyed it. i thought it was a very sincere and heartfelt portrayal of adoption. it was not an idyllic adoption story, but is real life ever ideal? i feel that the sincerity of it, the 'realness' of it, was powerful. i even cried at the end!

i felt like helen hunt, bette midler and colin firth all did really well portraying emotions that were genuine, i didnt feel like they were acting, i felt like i was watching some ones actual experience. ive never been much of a mathew broderick fan, his role is pretty minor.

i really liked how strong and forceful bernice (bettes character) the biological mother, came on to april (helens character). not because i feel like thats a good thing or a healthy thing (cuz i think its very damaging to all involved), but because i think that is the number one thing that birthmothers err on - we push ourselves onto our children to meet a need or a void in our lives. so i liked that she did that, because then april was able to sincerely be overwhelmed and confused and pull away, which is a perfectly reasonable and understandable reaction! i think that seeing that, watching it happen in a film such as this, is a good reminder on how we can make better choices involving when, how, and why we communicate with our birth children (at all ages, open or closed) and that we are mindful in continuing our quest for wanting what is best for them, and not going about what is best for us, no matter what.

I love when aprils adoptive mom sternly states to her 'you listen to me. theres no difference!' when april was trying to tell her Amom that she loved her children differently (because april was adopted and her brother was not.)

its definitely a touching story and im very glad i stumbled upon it. i had never heard of this movie before.

a snippet of the beginning of the plot:

Deeply religious April Epner, a 39-year-old Brooklyn elementary school teacher, finds her life derailed by a series of events over which she has no control. Her husband Ben abruptly leaves her, her abrasive adoptive mother Trudy passes away the following day, and shortly after she is contacted by Alan, a representative of Bernice Graves, the flamboyant host of a local talk show, who introduces herself as her biological mother. trailer
this film is available to 'watch instantly' on netflix. 


Karine said...

I have seen it. I liked it and I loved how her AMom said that same thing. I thought it was interesting to watch, her life was interesting and had a lot going on but I did enjoy it. I felt sad that she (helen) did not feel secure with being adopted or who she was because she didn't know her BMom. I have heard from some ppl who are adopted who feel like she did in this movie. This is why Open adoption is so important :) The child grows up with more love and who they are :) The birth mom is always there :) Just my input :)

debs life said...

Wow, I just got through watching it and I didn't like it. I almost didn't finish watching it, but it got such rave reviews. Granted I watch it via my "Clearplay" so I may have missed an f-word or two and maybe a love scene, but I can't think of anything I liked about it. Just my opinion.

The worst part of the film to me was basically coming away from watching it and (coming from possibly the thought of someone never having any experience with adoption) thinking that a birthmom "wanted life more than they wanted their child", that makes me sick.

Just a side note-I don't have an open-adoption with my bdaughter, but I am sure she's still confident in knowing who she is and where she came from, so I don't necessarily agree that an open-adoption is a must or better in order for that to happen.

Anyway, just had to share my two cents. I always appreciate a movie recommendation :)

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