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Alright. This isn't necessarily adoption related but hey whatever. i think it still needs to be said.
I had an interesting experience this week.
I used to work with people with disabilities. I quit this past October. I quit in large part because i was so sick with my pregnancy. another reason I quit...one of my co-workers hated me. I could feel the tension no matter what. I would wake up dreading going to work. I just kept saying "its her problem, its her fault." I have gone back to visit a few times since then and it was always VERY weird.
Well last night i had an epiphany. One that was a few months WAY too late in coming. All of a sudden I got this feeling of what have i done to have made this relationship so bad. I thought to myself. I probably had said some things that if you are not used to my dripping sarcasm (my major personality flaw) could have been taken very offensively. It was very possible that i may have seriously offended her. And even if I hadn't done anything wrong it is very possible that she just needed a friend or someone to talk to. I instantly thought back to this post.
Sometimes some people are having trials we can't see. My mom has many times told me "everyone loves to compare their backyard to everyone's front yard." Truer words have not been spoken. There was a great possibility that this co-worker of mine may have just been struggling with something deeper.
So this morning i decided to do something nice for her. I bought everything i could think of that she loves. Doritos, Fanta, Bubblegum, etc. Then I wrote a card. I went and dropped off. then I started to drive home. I had to pull over because i was shaking so bad. I was terrified of the unknown. I was worried she might take it as something i did out of spite rather than love and a sincere wish for a better relationship or at the very least an acceptance of my apology. A few minutes after i got a text from her. And ....
She said thank you, she said sorry, she told me some of the trials she was going through.
A H U G E burden was lifted off of my shoulders. i had lost nights of sleep over this tension. all i had to do was do something kind. It took me all of 15 minutes to pick that stuff out at the store, write the card, put it in a gift bag, and take it to work.
I am not trying to toot my own horn. i just am so amazed what a difference it can make in your life to be a peace maker. My mom suggested I try harder to be a peace maker a few weeks ago. And I have been really trying. My relationship with my sister has never been better and
I have never been happier.
So i encourage you to go out, be a peacemaker, do something nice for someone. even if you just send a text. do it. remember that everyone has their trials and there is always someone who is worse off than you.
I love you all and i hope you all feel wonderful.
Here is a picture that brightened my day :) Hopefully it may add a little sunshine in yours....if not...its still cute.
What he will say to his "birthmom" in heaven
7 years ago
2 comments:
I'm nearly speechless. Incredible post. We ALL need to strive for this kind of attitude. If we all did, and even if we were only successful 50% of the time, the world would be a MUCH better place. Kudos to you for taking the first step, and to her for taking it for what it was.
Thank you for inspiring me today!
Totally needed to hear this thanks Jessa! Love You! And I miss your face!
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