So the other day i got an email from Josie's momma. (I love those!)
She asked me an important question that i wanted to address...
"First moments" in a loved one's life are precious. Did your heart just melt when Mina smiled for the first time and laughed for the first time? Even to this day when Logan has a "first moment" like passing the sacrament for the first time or whatever, my heart still swells with love, and joy and pride. But usually my thoughts stop there. I don't really think about anyone else or wish that someone else could be there (unless Johnathan isn't there with me). But those first moments are different with Josie. When I get to see a first moment with Josie, my heart swells, I feel joy, and pride and then I think of you and how I want you to be able to share in this "first moment". I have this happen all the time from the first day of preschool, to the first time she went down a waterslide and loved it to her first school performance. I love the phrase from the scripture in Hebrews I believe: my cup runneth over. That's how I feel in those moments with Josie. So, I guess what I need to know is, do you want to be a part of those "first (most of the time impetuous)moments"? Like the other day, I texted you right away during her first school performance. It was a touching moment for me and I wanted to share that with you. But, I don't want to be insensitive to you either. Does this make sense? Or is it better just to share with you later after the "moment" has passed.
A few days ago i got to experience this moment..
My baby's first laugh. it made my heart literally melt. I didn't get to hear Josie's first laugh but i do remember the first time i heard her laugh. It was so sweet and i love that giggle and it just was so dang cute i didn't know what to do with myself. And when i can make her laugh its even better.
Josie's momma has been amazing at including me in on the little stuff. They photographed her sneeze when she was just a baby(a photography sequence that would make anyone giggle), they video'd one of her birthdays, i have seen her halloween costumes, and as mentioned Josie's momma texted me during her school performance and one of her soccer games. Sometimes i am super busy and don't see them right away, other times i see them at that time and i visualize what is happening. Each text or call is awesome.
Here are a few of my favorite recent texts:
"we are at first soccer practice, she will only play with the purple ball." --showing me she is stubborn just like me...poor B (josie's momma)
"Guess who's going to sunbeams today? Not sure how i feel about that"
-My response was definitely that is not okay. . . she is growing up incredibly too fast.
and my favorite
"Oh my funny, We are at Josie's preschool's Easter program and she is just swaying to the music with her eyes closed really getting into it." --if this isn't hilarious to envision i don't know what is.
This girl just makes me so happy.
To tell you the truth i don't have many more hard days. Yes I miss the heck out of THEM (her whole family) a lot...i have tried many times to get them to move here but they are set on where they are dag nabbit ;). So, no the moments aren't hard to hear. In fact i cherish them and look forward to them.
In the beginning it would have been hard for me to have as much contact as i have now mostly because i wasn't healed. but i know that if it ever does get too much or i am annoyed by something i can just tell Josie's parents and they will happily oblige. They are cool like that.
Moments are what life is about.
Some are happy. Some are hard. Some are just plain hilarious.
I love every one of them.
(this being said, i do not expect to hear about every stinkin detail. life is busy for everyone. it would be dumb of me to expect that because the world does not revolve around me...although i might like that ... then i might get a few more naps. )
Here are some pics of my fav moments