do you read nienie? she held a 'motherhood is...' essay contest on her blog and is posting a winner every tuesday until mothers day. ~to read those~
i took the opportunity to write my own essay.
Journal entry May 2009. my first mothers day:
‘a woman who has given birth to a child’
i am indeed a mother.
a mother without a child to call my own.
i am a mother partner.
‘He is mine in a way that he will never be hers,
yet he is hers in a way that he will never be mine,
and so together, WE are motherhood.’ ~desha wood copy right 2012
my God, growing up, i never thought i'd be celebrating mothers day(s) alone and childless.
my arms are empty and my cheeks are wet. but my heart is full.
i love you pokepoke, so much so that i can't even express it.
thank you for making me a mother.
thank you for allowing me to be your mother.
thank you for trusting me to find your mother.
I imagine that motherhood [for most] is a responsibility like no other and a privilege not to be taken lightly. I presume that motherhood is a daily activity- a trial and error and trial, again and again. Each day is a new beginning, yet a continuation of the one before. A constant hum of love, learning, regret, more love, understanding, evolving, nurturing, more love, joy, sorrow, smiles, tears, laughs, pain, bliss, frustration, peace, and more love. A process that never ends, a constant refiners fire, an adventure with great rewards, and unknown mysteries around every corner.
For me, motherhood is a culmination of all the possible emotions and experiences from a lifetime of raising children, all rolled into one intense moment, one moment so emotionally raw, tender, profound and exquisite, that there are no written words for me to ever accurately describe it. That bittersweet moment of ultimate motherhood, when I placed my child into the open loving arms of his parents.
Some call the choice to place a child for adoption heroic, some call it sacrifice, some call it tragic, some call it a mistake, some call it a miracle, some call it a gift, some call it love…
I now call it ‘motherlove’.
As a mother, I took my responsibility very seriously; I understood what was best for my child and with all my mothering love, I chose accordingly.
For me, that’s what ‘motherhood’ is.
Over the years I have been able to share a motherhood with another woman- my mother partner. It is a unique bond that few get to share, a unique love that few get to foster, and a treasured experience that few ever get to live. How blessed we are, blessed by motherhood; motherlove.
copy right 2012 no portion of this essay may be copied without authors permission.