To the Mothers in Waiting

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Happy Mother's Day....

I can somewhat empathize how these words must hurt. I do not claim to be an expert in infertility, miscarriage, sterility, or infant loss.

I do know, the Mother's Day after I placed Josie, I cried almost all day. At that time I was in a Single's Ward...no one understood why I was crying except my fellow birthmoms and hopeful adoptive couple friends.

I do know, after I had one of my miscarriages, Mother's Day was nothing but a self pity sob fest.

I do know, after my ectopic pregnancy, Mother's Day brought anger towards many things, including the God I love so much, and i know loves me. I was angry. When was it my turn? Hadn't I suffered enough already.

My trials have been few in the way of infertility, which is why I can only somewhat empathize. Just know that you were all my strength during this time.

When I was going through all these I thought of the brave, strong women who had been going through it much longer than me. I thought of their wonderful attitude and their love and kindness. If there was anger at one time, there was no more.

I know nobody wants to hear it, because you probably get sick of hearing it, as i do the common responses after placing:

You are strong.
You are an inspiration.
You are brave.
You are loved.

You are all mothers. Whether it be to a baby who went back to Heaven, or a baby waiting to come down, or a pseudo mother to people who need an extra mother figure in life. You are mothers. I know in my heart of hearts your time will come.

Most of all, I just wanted to say, I am thinking of you. Everytime a woman or man makes a comment about mother's that i think may hurt someone struggling with infertility, I cringe. I wish I knew who they were so I could give them a hug, or make a snarky remark about the comment to help them laugh it off.

I love you all. I wish to give you all a hug today.