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Wednesday, November 6, 2013

i am THANKFUL

I know I have been questioned by many a birth mom/first mom/biological/what have you. People have accused me of being "too happy", "brainwashed", drinking "kool-aid", "living in the fog". ... Surprise! I am not. I never have.

Adoption is hard. Adoption at times gives me grief that is so unimaginable. There is no way to explain it. One can not truly empathize unless they have been there. Every morning I wake up and my heart hurts, I know someone is missing. I know it will continue to be hard forevermore.

There are days when I cry. There are times when I wonder what if. There are times when I don't see how I could have done such a thing.

BUT

I love my birth daughter. I love her more than words can say. Her family loves her. They love her to the moon and back. She is loved. She knows it, with everything in her.

How do I know?


If you look under mom and dad, you see Jessa and Jr. She knows we are her birthparents. She knows who her mom and dad are. She is so well cared for. She is happy. What gives me peace is that I know with everything in me this was the choice I was supposed to make for her. I am thankful for my open adoption, my ability to keep up with her life. I am thankful that her parents work hard to make sure she knows where she came from and who she is. I am thankful her parents keep me in the loop. I am thankful they love me and care about me. I am thankful that adoption is in my life.

Adoption is a beautiful heartbreak, one I am thankful that turned out so beautiful.

4 comments:

gertmcqueen said...

good for you! I'm glad that you are thankful. the natural state of life is to be happy, if one is thankful, they are happy.
bless you, Gert

Heather said...

Thanks for sharing!

Lindsey from The R House said...

Such a sweet post! xo

Northern Star said...

Beautiful! As our daughter is only 8 months old, it's hard to see where the stories we tell her about her roots will lead her ... this post is proof that because of the openness and love that surrounds her from both her adoptive family and her birth mama, she is going to understand that the roots and the leaves are full of love.

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