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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

QUESTIONS are ANSWERED!! Q # 9

Answers from the lovely birthmothers:
Note – not every birthmother has answered every single question, please match the fonts to know whose response you are reading!

if you would like to answers any of the questions please do so in the comment section and be sure to leave the number of the question that is being answered.

Stefanie     http://stefaniejinelle.blogspot.com/
Megan  http://angryoctopusstudios.blogspot.com/
Alyssa       one of our guest bloggers
Anna      http://annamaryk.blogspot.com
Jennilee     one of our guest bloggers
Amanda     http://travisandamandarosemans.blogspot.com/
Nicole    http://lifeafterfirstmom.blogspot.com/
Kelsey    http://thebestforyoubook.blogspot.com/
Shannon
Michelle
Andee      http://anabananandee.blogspot.com/
Britney
Janessa     http://scottandjanessa.blogspot.com/
Jennifer
Shanna    one of our blog authors


9. is your birthchild old enough to know who you are? briefly explain if possible.

My Bdaughter is now 7, so she understands a little, however I don’t think she’ll fully understand until she’s a bit older.  But she knows about me and where she came from, which is HEALTHY.

N/A She's only 8 weeks old.

Not yet - he is only 16 months. His older brother (who is also adopted) knows who I am and who his own birthmother is. He is age 6.

I think that a birthchild should know who you are from the very beginning. My birthdaughter knows who I am, she has a picture of me, and she writes letters to me (and I write back). That was something her mom promised me at placement – that she would know everything they knew about me, my family, etc. They wanted her to know where she came from.

My son is 5 so he understands some. I don’t have a lot of visits so he probably doesn’t fully understand. He calls me by my first name. The couple explains that I am a special friend and that mommy can’t grow babies in her tummy so I grew him in my tummy.

**Bunny will be 3 in April 2010. She is at the stage where she identifies everyone in her life. She calls her adoptive couple Mom and Dad. She calls me "My Mana" and my son "My Baby Ash" but we (the adoptive couple and I) came up with a plan that as she progresses in understading, we will tell her a bit more as she gets bigger and bigger.

Yes, he is almost 18 so he can comprehend the situation, but he does not know anything about me yet due to the closed adoption.

I have been a birth mother for almost 20 years. My children do know who I am and I am available to them anytime they need me, but I do not force myself into their lives. I also know that they are their own person. I let them contact me.

She is 3 and 1/2 and her folks have told her that I am birthmom Cindy and they show her pics of me pg with her and they have explained she grew in my belly- when I had my last visit with her that is exactly what she told me but I don't think she is old enough to comprehend it at this point- I guess she thinks all kids have birthmoms :)

Yes shes old enough to know me. i had her for 2 1/2 yrs of her life. n she's almost 10. i send her a card every week. have for yrs.

She is one year old, so no; she is not old enough to know that I am her birthmom.  I saw her yesterday though, and she said my name, So she’s kinda getting there ;)

I swear he looks at me different than other people… but it might all be in my head =)

She is 2 1/2 and can say my name and recognizes me from photos, but still doesn't know that I'm her 'birthmom'. I think she just thinks that I am an important person in her life. Her mother has her pray for me at night.
I was scared that she could say my name at first, because I had always planned to stop visiting her once she could recognize me, because I want her to have the option of being a part of my life and not be forced into it. So, although she doesn't 'know' who I am yet, I know we are closer to that point & I'm not sure what to do since the adoption is so open now.

~My daughter is 22 months, but she is already learning who I am.  Her adoptive parents have given her a baby photo album that is soft plastic, she plays with.  Along with other pictures they have included a picture of me in there, along with a picture of me holding her.  They tell her who I am already

Yes and no. He is almost two, and his parents plan on letting him know who I am. He seems to at least recognize me when he sees me. His sister that is a few years older than him knows that she has two mom's but I don't think she is really old enough to understand what that means.


 

1 comment:

Karine said...

Thank ALL for sharing that. I can see where each situation is so unique and different from another. It is so educating to read each of your statements. Thank you. It helps to be open for any situation when adopting.
I am hopeful for an open adoption, but am ready to respect the wants and the needs of the birth mom's and feel that is the most important over my own hopes. Thank you again for sharing it. Your a light to the world

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