Thursday, August 5, 2010

Brittney's Story

I met Brittney through a friend who directed her to this site! She has a really unique story as well!

My name is Brittney and I have two wonderful daughters. They are my world my life and everything that I look forward to everyday. I was 18 years old when I had Brooklyn (she is almost 4). I had no support except from my parents, and when your 18 the last thing on your mind is to tell that you are pregnant. Well I didn’t have the chance to tell them, her father did. Depressed because I found out I was pregnant that happens. My whole pregnancy I had a job, worked hard, was on my feet all day and never really complained. Dallen (Brooklyn’s dad) and I were together for two month of my pregnancy. He decided in February that he didn’t want to deal with this and it wasn’t his child. Men come up with the funniest excuses to how it isn’t their child. I went through my pregnancy with just my parents and family there.
The plan that I had was to keep Brooklyn. My mom forced me to go to LDS family services. I talked to my counselor and we look at all of my options. One day she had told me that we needed to look at profiles and I told her I didn’t want to, but we did anyways. I was looking through them and I wasn’t to happy with the ones that I was looking at. She told me that she would be back, because she had a couple that she wanted me to look at that wasn’t approved yet. I read their profile and fell in love. Tom and Michelle soon became family. 4 weeks till my due date, I had met them. The face to face meeting I had with them was not awkward one bit. We chatted for a while and got to know each other. After that they wanted to do everything for me, anything I needed, anything I wanted. Brooklyn was their first child, a couple of days before I had Brooklyn, they found out they were pregnant (I didn’t know this till she was about 20 weeks). I had Brooklyn on August 23 2006. She was the smallest most beautiful child I had ever seen. I was instantly in love. I kept her at my house for 3 days. I loved it. I placed her on Monday the 28th, after that I stayed busy with work and with friends and family. I loved what I did with her and I loved the fact that she would be with an eternal family. The only time that I have ever cried about placing Brooklyn, was the day I was signing my rights. Man was that hard. I lived my life as a partier and didn’t give to licks about anyone around me. I got to see Brooklyn 5 days after I placed her. It was not hard at all. I knew that she needed to be there. I get to see Brooklyn when ever I want. If I need to see her because I miss her I could do that.
SO a few years pass, I live on my own, and get pregnant again. Which was an even bigger shock, It was only one night with him and instantly I was pregnant. I had told him that I was pregnant and he didn’t believe me. In fact no one did. I called my mom and told her and she said you better go take another test to just be for sure. I said ok whatever. I did that called her and she was so shocked, well kind of since she knew the life style I was living. I loved being pregnant with Brooklyn and heck I am pregnant again and I will love it even more. I had more support this time, thank goodness. I had told Tom and Michelle, a year before getting pregnant, that if I got pregnant outside of marriage I would place the baby with them. Well time goes on and the whole pregnancy I was going to place her. Then I found out it was another girl and they were with me at the appointment. In fact they were there for me my whole pregnancy. I spent as much time with them as I could. The farther I got into my pregnancy the harder it was to decide if I really wanted to place this little girl. Well I went into labor on April 15th 2010. They were there for every step, it didn’t feel right though. I just didn’t want this little girl to be with them, I wanted her to be with me. She was mine and I wasn’t going to let anyone have her. It was a weird feeling that I got when I saw her with them. It wasn’t right I kept telling myself. I let them have their time with her and at night I was take every moment to enjoy it. I went home from the hospital and couldn’t let her go. I wanted her to be with me, she needed to be with me. After debating this for two weeks (after she was born), I decided that I was keeping her. It crushed Tom and Michelle.

Life went on and I was finally a parent and someone actually loved me. For the first time ever I have never felt this way about anyone, not even Brooklyn. I fell so madly in love with my daughter that I couldn’t let her go. I parented for about 2 months and 3 weeks. I was a long while. I had been thinking about it for a month that I should place her for adoption. Not sure why I got the feeling but that’s what needed to happen. I placed My beautiful daughter and the love of my life on July 6th 2010. It wasn’t hard at all, I love it, I didn’t even cry. Until about two weeks after I had placed her. I never thought I was in love with her this much. Everyday since I have struggled and I know now how the birthmothers feel when they place their child. I have two different stories and with two different children. I love my kids with all of my heart and I am very thankful for the people who have helped me through. Tom and Michelle are the best parents ever. Now Olivia has two sisters! They love her so much and Brooklyn just took over, she loves her little sister and she sings to her and makes her laugh. That’s exactly what I did to Olivia, Brooklyn must take after her mom, thanks goodness though. The one thing that helps the most right now is to hear Brooklyn tell me bout her day, and how much she loves her sister. The thing that I love most about adoption is the love that everyone shares. I love hearing it when Brooklyn tells me that she loves me. I love my children and I will never change.

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