Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Why I Haven't Been Writing...

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I haven't been writing much. This is the longest I have gone in 3.5 years without writing.

It has been a combination of things.

First and foremost. I am a mom. A busy mom, to a beautiful little girl. This girl:

I have been in school. Trying to get my degree. So I have been busy studying.
I have been running a catering business which is keeping me incredibly busy.
I have been giving presentations at middle schools on adoption. (which by the way scares the crap out of me that there are 11 and 12 year olds having sex! PARENTS: Stop being afraid of it. TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This next month I will be busy visiting PDX and AZ for their adoption conferences! I will get to go with Tamra Hyde to AZ and PDX with Tiffany. Both awesome and incredible birthmommas who I love talking to!

I do have things to say about adoption, but i have a hard time articulating my feelings lately. Here is what I have to say in no organizational or articulate manner.

First: Josie is a beautiful girl and I love getting all the updates her mom sends me. I love that I feel totally comfortable texting, talking to, and facebooking her mom. It is a relationship I am thankful for everyday of my life. Josie is just amazing. I get to see her tonight and that makes me happy to no end. I know that my relationship is rare in the fact that I do feel 100 percent comfortable asking for what I need from them in terms of communication and knowing that their feelings won't be hurt if I need space. Knowing that her mom will text me if she sees i am having a hard day on facebook. Knowing that i can ask her dad when i have deep gospel questions and not feel judged! I have a beautiful relationship that has brought me a second family. I LOVE IT! I would not change it. Not a single thing about it. Except maybe they live by me....that would probably make me happy.

Second: I think it is so important to have the ability to "move on" from your adoption. This doesn't mean forget about it...i would say adoption comes up at least once in my day to day life. But i mean learning to be at peace with it, to be happy with it, to realize that your child will always be yours in your heart, but understanding that your child is now their child. They choose how to raise the child, how to best care for the child, and how often visits are okay. I have seen many people be very upset because visits or skype sessions have had to be rescheduled. I understand it hurts, i understand it is frustrating. But understand the parents are running a family just as you are running yours. Try to help them out by scheduling those things the day after or before big days to ease the stress a little.

Lastly: I have some awesome guest blog posts coming up. One of which is an awesome birthfather that I randomly met at a USU activity. he is great! If you would like to join in the November: Month of guest blogger event...please join us! send an email to birthmothers4adoption@gmail.com!

Love you all!!


Kathy Habel said...

I'm setting up a blog tour for the book Open Adoption, Open Heart. Wondering if you would be able to put up a post as part of the tour?

More info can be found here:


If this isn't for you but you know some who might be interested I'd appreciate if you could pass the info on to them.

Thanks for your time!

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