This is a blog post by Amber. She is actually an intern at LDS Family Services. She sits in on the birthmother group. Love her to death. I had NO idea she was looking to adopt. I had no idea she had adopted. then randomly she started talking about it. She has a great insight on birthmoms and I asked her to share her story.
Being a mom is the best thing in the world. My daughter is 8 months old and is the sunshine in my life. Being an adoptive mom is not any different than being a biological mom – at least it isn’t to me. My daughter is my daughter through and through. The only difference is that my husband isn’t the only one who has brought a set of in-laws into my life. My daughter came with her own set of in-laws, in theory. Sometimes you luck out with in-laws, other times they are the bane of your existence. Lucky for me, both sets of in-laws are amazing.
My daughter’s birth family is so kind to us all, respectful of our boundaries, loving of my daughter, and genuinely amazing people. We couldn’t have asked for a greater birth family. We are still trying to get to know each other, and so there is a lot of figurative tip-toeing that goes on, but our relationship is such that it has blessed my life to get to know these good people.
Our story: Unbeknownst to us, our daughter was born on Labor Day 2012. Tuesday, September 4, we woke up and went to work just like any other day, little did we know that our lives were about to change forever. I finished my work for the day and headed to the gym, intent on burning off the evil, but delicious, cupcakes I had consumed over the weekend. As a general rule I left my cell phone in my car so that I could avoid distractions, or rather excuses for cutting my workout short, but this day I brought my phone with me for whatever reason. It was 2:00 in the afternoon and I was on the treadmill when I got a call on my phone. I noticed it was my caseworker, Marisa, from LDS Family Services and thought that was weird and decided that I better take the call. I’m so glad I did. My husband and I were transferred from our home agency to a different one because I was now an intern at my home agency and that would have been a conflict of interest. We had yet to meet Marisa face-to-face and I was planning on doing so the following week at a training for work. When I answered the phone Marisa said, “Do you remember how we are planning on meeting next week?” Yes. “Could you meet today instead?” After responding that no I couldn’t because I had class that night, she asked, “Can you miss it?” I told her that no I didn’t think I could. “Well, you’re going to have to miss it because your baby daughter was born yesterday and you need to come and pick her up.” Now, there are few moments in my life that are emblazoned on my mind forever and that was one of those moments. I obviously had no idea what she was talking about, but the hope that after 9 years of marriage I was really now a mother burned deep in my heart.
The scenario: From the moment of that phone call, I knew this baby was meant to be our daughter. When we got to the hospital 3 hours, 1 frantic Wal-mart stop, and a borrowed car seat and portable crib later, our baby was placed in our arms directly from her birth mom and love for her exploded in my heart. She was so tiny, weighing in at 6 lbs exactly. We discussed openness; the birth mom didn’t want any openness. We left the door open in case she wanted to change her mind.Our happily ever after: Tala is a beautiful baby girl who is not so much a baby anymore. People say that it goes by so fast, but you don’t believe them until it happens to you. I just packed her newborn clothes away this week and marveled that she was so tiny once. Her birth mom did change her mind. We love having an open relationship with her and feel very blessed that she is willing to be a part of our lives. It humbles me to receive this perfect, precious gift from a selfless, loving young woman. I adore my daughter, I am so grateful for adoption, and I love being a mom!