Monday, June 7, 2010

Honk if you love a birthmom!

I love hearing cool stories about how much people love birthmoms, here are two recent stories.

1) I was watching So You Think You Can Dance...ya, i watch it, and I enjoy it... And I was touched to the bone about a young girl who found out she was adopted but who was not allowed to meet her birthmom until she was 18. Her birthmother died before she could ever meet her. However, she was able to read a letter from her birthmother and it told of her love for dancing. This girl decided to start dancing in commemoration for her birthmother. It was a very touching story. Not only did this make me extremely grateful for open adoption, but it made me feel good to know that she put a positive outlook on adoption for the world to see how beautiful that relationship could be.

2) Now my other story is the other day I was driving along a residential road. I see these two girls out there selling lemonade (probably around 11 or 12 years old) Next to their lemonade stand was a sign that read, "My birthmother loved me, Honk if you love a birthmom!" I just had to pull over, I gave them each ten bucks because I was thrilled with how awesome that is! She then explained that she was earning money to help her family adopt a new baby. She gave me a hug and told me thanks for being a birthmom! I am amazed time and time again at the love within this adoption world! It is FANTASTIC to know that I am part of an amazing group of people who have an unconditional love for all members of the triad!

Well I hope you all had an amazing memorial day weekend! Continue to have an amazing day!


Karine said...

Oh My GOSH! Those stories are amazing! I started to cry! SO SWEET! Really amazing! I love that others can see how amazing birth mothers are. I love that those little girls wanted to be apart of helping to save for a sibling! SO SWEET! SO AMAZINGLY SWEET! Really touching! Thank you for sharing them. I can't wait to share them with my family! Love it.
On a side note, my son is 10 tomorrow. I asked him lastnight what will you wish for this year? His response.... that my baby brother comes soon! I almost started to cry! He is so great! He went to a camporee and was so excited to tell me that someone let him hold a baby boy. He will make a great brother!
Anyhow. Thanks for the stories, will share them with my family! THANK YOU!

Jill Stones said...

I'm honking!! I'm honking!!! Love those stories!! We are out there and we are loved and we are still changing lives. :)love ya

Sticky Fingers said...

I'm personally kind of disgusted with your reaction to the first story, personally. As an adoptee, if I had found out that I was prevented from meeting my birthmother and she had DIED, I would extremely angry. It's not beautiful...it's selfish of the adoptive parents and a tragedy for the child and her mother.

It's all nice the bmom's on here for the most part seem to have open or semi-open relationships, but trust me it's not easy being the adoptee...especially when you become an adult. Yes you may love your birthparents and may even develop good relationships with them, but there will always be the ultimate hurt and ultimate betrayal lurking in the backs of the adoptive childs minds. It's insulting to see it painted as all sunshine and lollipops all of the time.

Jessalynn Speight said...

Sticky Fingers- I am sorry that you feel this way. Yes I think it is wrong to prevent an adoptee from seeing their birthmother which is why I am so stinking glad that they have open adoptions now. I know lots of people who didn't find out till they were 16, 20, or even 50! That is so wrong to me. In fact I made my baby's adoptive parents PROMISE to make sure she knew that she was adopted from the VERY beginning to prevent this from happening. So I agree with you on that. What I thought was beautiful was that she was understanding of the situation and was going to try and stay as connected with her as possible. That was beautiful!

However I have to disagree with the thought of ultimate hurt and ultimate betrayal. That is not the case for everyone. I have SEVERAL friends and family who were adopted. Their ages range from 10-60. Only one of them has a really hard time with it and that's because his parents did not tell him until he was 50 and that was because he found his birth certificate by accident. A lot of adoptees I talk to say they are glad for their adoptive family and respect their birthparents for their decisions. I know one adoptee who placed a baby for adoption herself. The choices we as birthparents make are not sunshine and lollipops. They aren't just betraying a child. Each one of us makes the decision to place for a reason. Just as you have chosen to feel bitter or betrayed about it for your own reason.

I know it is not sunshine and lollipops as you have stated I think it is. I have very much educated myself on all parts of the triad. I have talked to many people with many different experiences. I would suspect you are at least 10 years old. The adoption world has changed so much for the better since then. So I urge you to realize that most of us know there can be a very ugly side to it. There was just a little blog war a while back about this which Id rather not get into again. I respect your comment and hope that you do the same to mine. Thank you and best of luck to you. If you would further like to discuss this you can email me at birthmothers4adoption@gmail.com or call me at 8016994092

Jill Stones said...

I too have to agree, as a birth mom I made the choice to give life to my child. A good life with 2 parents that could care and love. Yes I could love and still love my birth son and I always will and he knows that. Should I have kept him like my friends and married the first guy just because he accepted me AND my child, no! Should I have aborted the baby like the birthfather told me to....NO! Those are the cold hard facts sticky fingers, they aren't pleasant but my birthson didn't have to experience any pain, only love from 2 moms and a dad. My birthson was given more than I had give and I know he loves me because he told me last week and I told him. No secrets. just love. I pray you find peace and love. I too am here for you, because you sound like you need someone. 801-774-9563 or guyswife@gmail.com

Adoption Connections - Shelley said...

*Honk honk*. What sweet stories. Thanks so much for sharing them, as a birthmom, they both made me smile.

debs life said...

When a child is placed for adoption, there is hope that they live a better life, this doesn't always happen. It JUST SO happens that a good majority of the BM's on this website tend to have more positive outlook and positive experience and A LOT have open-adoptions.

Things have changed tremendously, just even in the almost 8 years from when I placed. Back when I placed it was considered "not a good idea" to have an open-adoption, but come to find out that it can actually be a great idea! Adoptive parents take advice from the agencies they get their adoptive children from and most, at that time (say about 8-10 years ago), were saying it was best to just stick to pictures and letters sent through the agency.

In this particular situation (the above story), the Bdaughter didn't get to see her BM, yes, that's a shame and is extremely sad, but understand, that she looks at the outcome to have been a blessing! I am sure she wasn't happy that her BM died without having met her, but the letter helped her to heal and do something great with her life. How is that disgusting? I don't understand.

HONK HONK, I love Birthmom's too, even though I am one as well.

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